Grandparents often play a significant role in both their adult children and grandchildren’s lives providing practical care and support. In addition, they may provide financial support, so when a couple’s relationship breaks down, their concern for their family can be compounded by the fear of wider monetary repercussions. This article discusses the merits and issues when grandparents provide financial help to their grandchildren during divorce.
Grandparents often play a significant role in both their adult children and grandchildren’s lives providing practical care and support. In addition, they may provide financial support, so when a couple’s relationship breaks down, their concern for their family can be compounded by the fear of wider monetary repercussions. This article discusses the merits and issues when grandparents provide financial help to their grandchildren during divorce.
What are the risks and benefits to grandparents helping their grown up grandchild during divorce?
When parents or grandparents decide to financially assist their adult child/grandchild through a divorce, the gesture, often rooted in love and concern, comes with both potential benefits and risks that need careful consideration.
Benefits:
- Financial assistance can greatly reduce the stress and emotional strain on the divorcing individual. Knowing they have a reliable financial back-up allows them to focus on recovery and rebuilding their lives.
- For grandchildren/great-grandchildren, the financial help ensures they maintain a stable environment. This can be crucial for children’s well-being, helping them to continue their education and daily routines with minimal disruption.
- Providing support during a tough time can strengthen family bonds. The adult grandchild may feel more connected and appreciative, fostering closer relationships within the family.
Risks:
- Grandparents, often on fixed incomes or pensions, risk their financial security by providing substantial financial aid. This can jeopardise their own future stability and independence.
- Financial transactions between family members can sometimes be scrutinised in divorce proceedings. Large sums of money given to the divorcing individual could be seen as part of their assets, potentially affecting the financial settlement.
- There is a risk that the adult grandchild may become dependent on this financial support, which can hinder their ability to become self-sufficient and prolong the recovery process post-divorce.
- Financial assistance can lead to tensions within the family, especially if other siblings perceive favouritism or if there are disagreements over the expectations and terms of the help provided.
While grandparents’ financial assistance during a divorce can provide crucial support, it is essential to carefully consider the potential risks. Ensuring financial security for themselves and setting clear boundaries can help both the parents and their grown up grandchild navigate the divorce process with greater resilience and security.
How could a grandparent ensure they get their money back after the divorce has been finalised?
Grandparents who financially assist their adult grandchild during a divorce may wish to ensure they are reimbursed once the divorce is finalised. The following suggestions may help a grandparent protect their financial interests:
- Drafting a formal loan agreement is crucial to avoiding issues in the future. This document should outline the amount loaned, repayment terms, and interest rates (if applicable). Both parties should sign the agreement, and it may be beneficial to have it witnessed to add legal weight. This type of loan agreement can then be relied upon in court as evidence that the funds are repayable and not simply considered a “soft debt” or gift.
- A promissory note is another formal document where the debtor acknowledges the debt and promises to repay it. Ideally, the note should detail the repayment schedule and any conditions associated with the loan. Promissory notes tend to be less formal and much shorter than other forms of lending agreement; however, the court can still enforce them if necessary. This is because within the document, the debtor legally promises to repay the appropriate sum of money to the lending party.
- If possible, grandparents could secure the loan against an asset, such as property. This means if the adult grandchild fails to repay, the grandparents have a legal claim to the asset. Legal advice should be sought to properly execute this.
- Having a third-party witness or mediator present when the loan agreement is made can provide additional validation and support if disputes arise later.
- Consulting with a family law solicitor ensures that the loan agreement is legally sound and enforceable. A solicitor can also advise on the implications of such agreements in the context of divorce settlements.
- During the divorce proceedings, it might be possible to incorporate the repayment obligation into the financial settlement. This ensures that the loan repayment is considered in the final financial orders.
By taking these steps, grandparents can protect their financial interests and ensure that the money they loaned is repaid. Legal advice and formal agreements are essential to mitigate risks and enforce repayment after the divorce is finalised.

Can a grandparent be forced to contribute to their grandchild’s divorce?
Grandparents cannot be legally forced to contribute financially to their grandchild’s divorce proceedings. Under UK law, there is no legal obligation for anyone, including grandparents, to financially support their grandchildren through a divorce. Financial responsibilities typically fall on the divorcing parties themselves, and sometimes their parents (the divorcing child’s parents), but only if they freely agree to do so.
The principles of family law, as set out in the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, focus on the assets and income of the divorcing spouses when determining financial settlements. The resources of extended family members, including grandparents, are generally not considered unless voluntarily disclosed and offered.
Any financial support provided by grandparents is considered voluntary, and while they may choose to assist out of goodwill, they cannot legally be ordered to do so. Any voluntary contribution they make should ideally be documented as a loan or gift to avoid future misunderstandings (see above for more information on how to protect money loaned during a divorce).
The court does not have the power to issue an order requiring grandparents to contribute financially to a family member’s divorce. Financial orders during divorce proceedings are limited to the assets and income of the spouses involved. In disputes over financial support, the court assesses the needs, income, and assets of the divorcing couple. The financial capability or willingness of grandparents to contribute is not typically scrutinised or ordered.
Fundamentally, while grandparents can choose to support their adult grandchild financially during a divorce, the law does not impose any obligation on them to do so. Any assistance is purely voluntary which they cannot legally be forced to provide.
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