Coping with the emotional stresses post-divorce

Divorce is a challenging and emotionally charged process that can have a significant impact on individuals and families. This article will explore the emotional impact of divorce and highlight the importance of seeking support. We also consider the example of a woman from Scarborough whose mental health suffered during the divorce process.

The emotional impact of divorce can be devastating, and it is common for people to experience shock, anger, guilt, grief, and anxiety. Divorce can also trigger a loss of identity, self-esteem, and confidence, as well as feelings of rejection and abandonment. Many individuals struggle to cope with the emotional turmoil and find it difficult to move forward.

One of the most significant emotional challenges linked to relationship breakdown is the sense of failure. Many individuals feel like they have failed in their marriage and as a partner, leading to a loss of self-worth and confidence. This can lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment, as well as negative self-talk reinforcing the belief that they are not good enough.

Grief is another common emotion experienced during separation and is a natural response to the loss of a relationship, which can manifest itself in many different ways. Some people may experience intense feelings of sadness and despair, while others feel numb or disconnected.

Anger is also common. It may be directed towards your ex-partner, the legal system, or yourself, and can be a healthy emotion when expressed constructively. But it can also be destructive and lead to negative consequences, so it is important to be aware and seek help if you become overwhelmed.

Divorce can also trigger anxiety and depression, which can have a profound impact on mental health. The uncertainty of the future, financial concerns, and the loss of routine and stability can all contribute to such feelings. It is crucial to seek professional help to manage these emotions and prevent them from spiralling out of control.

Children can also be significantly affected by divorce, and it is important to recognise and address their emotional needs. They may experience feelings of confusion, fear, and anger, so it is essential to provide them with the support and resources they need to navigate their emotions. Children may also benefit from counselling, family therapy, and support groups.

Where to find help

Despite all these challenges, there are resources available to help individuals and families cope. Seeking professional help from a therapist, counsellor, or support group can provide a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies. It is also important to maintain a support network of friends and family who can provide emotional support and practical assistance.

Prioritising self-care during divorce, including engaging in activities that promote mental and physical well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, and hobbies are all positive steps. Taking care of yourself can help reduce stress and promote a sense of control during a time that can often feel overwhelming.

There are several resources available to support individuals and families going through divorce, including the Citizens Advice Bureau, Relate, and the Family Law Association. These organisations provide legal advice, counselling, and support services to help individuals navigate the divorce process and manage the emotional fallout.

Scarborough woman describes her personal post-divorce experience

Emma, a woman from Scarborough interviewed for a BBC article discussed her experience going through a divorce, sharing her personal experiences of the emotional struggles that followed. She describes feeling like a failure and finding it difficult to cope with her emotions after the divorce, and how turning to therapy and receiving support from friends and family helped her move forward. Emma hopes that by sharing her story, she can help others going through similar experiences by encouraging them to seek help when needed. In the same article, another interviewee from London advocated the benefits of no-fault divorce as a means of reducing the stresses of divorce (assuming of course both parties are amicable).