Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something that was important and can affect both mental and physical health. Going through a divorce can be difficult, often turning someone’s world on its head and making it hard to get through the day or stay productive. Although the experience of grief arising from the loss of a relationship is different for everyone, there are ways to help manage it and move forward.
Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something that was important and can affect both mental and physical health. Going through a divorce can be difficult, often turning someone’s world on its head and making it hard to get through the day or stay productive. Although the experience of grief arising from the loss of a relationship is different for everyone, there are ways to help manage it and move forward.
If you have a family law issue and you are concerned that you may require legal advice to understand your options, contact specialist family law solicitor Joanne Major. Joanne is the founder of her specialist family law firm and has spent her 25-year legal career specialising in family and matrimonial cases.
How do I recognise the signs of grief and loss in divorce?
Grief often involves intense sadness and feelings of shock and numbness. Common feelings include:
- Sadness
- Shock
- Denial
- Numbness, sense of unreality
- Anger
- Guilt
- Blame
- Relief
- Trouble concentrating
- Experiencing vivid dreams or nightmares
Grief can be exhausting and affect sleep. This may weaken your immune system, making you more prone to colds and other illnesses. It can also affect your appetite and lead to changes in weight, cause stomach pain, and headaches, too.
How can I cope with grief?
Coping with grief can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help make the process more manageable and promote healing. Here are our tips for coping with grief arising from divorce:
- Allow yourself time to grieve – it is natural to cry, and many people find crying a relief. Exploring and expressing emotions can be a part of the grieving process. Listening to music or writing can also help. Time spend alone can allow you to connect with your emotions.
- Live one day at a time – set a regular routine and do something for yourself every day. Go for a walk and do something relaxing, whatever that may be.
- Seek help from your GP, a counsellor, people at a support group or a relative or friend you trust.
- Spend time with supportive people – support groups can offer solace, as others who have experienced similar losses can empathise and offer insights.
- Accept offers of help
- Look after your health, get some regular exercise, eat healthy food, and make sure you get enough sleep. Exercise, even a short walk, can help release endorphins, lifting your mood and easing stress.
- Avoid recreational drugs and drink alcohol sensibly.
- Birthdays, anniversaries or holidays can trigger intense feelings of loss of a relationship. Be aware that these occasions may stir up unexpected emotions and have coping strategies in place that can help you get through them.
- Grief can disrupt everyday life, but keeping a routine can provide stability. A predictable schedule can help create small pockets of normalcy, making difficult days more manageable.
- Healing from grief takes time, and there is no fixed timeline. Allow yourself to move through the process at your own pace, without judgment or pressure.
Taking small, compassionate steps each day can help you gradually adjust and find moments of peace amidst the grieving process.
When should I seek help for my grief?
If you have persistent feelings of sadness and despair and are unable to feel content, you may be experiencing depression. If your feelings are getting in the way of your everyday life, then it is critical you seek help. For some, grief may not decrease even after time has passed and significantly disrupts their life, work, and other relationships. You may need to seek help if you:
- Feel as through grief is making it very difficult to do anything.
- Have difficulty socialising.
- Have difficulty sleeping.
- Have changed the way you eat (lost your appetite or are over eating).
- Have intense and ongoing emotions such as anger, sadness, numbness, anxiety, depression, despair, emptiness or guilt.
- Have thoughts of harming yourself.
What professionals should I consider seeking help from?
Dealing with the grief of divorce can be emotionally overwhelming, and seeking professional support can be incredibly helpful in navigating this challenging time and offer specific guidance and emotional support.
- A counsellor or therapist, particularly one who specialises in relationship issues, can help you process these feelings and develop coping strategies. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one popular method that can help address negative thought patterns.
- If you and your ex-partner have children or shared assets, a family mediator can help facilitate respectful discussions and agreements. This service can reduce stress and conflict, enabling a smoother transition.
- For legal aspects of the divorce, a family law solicitor can guide you through legal obligations and ensure fair distribution of assets. Understanding your legal rights can alleviate anxiety.
- Organisations such as Relate provide group sessions where you can connect with others facing similar challenges, fostering a sense of community and mutual support.
By combining emotional and legal support, you can better manage the grief associated with divorce, ensuring a healthier and more balanced recovery.
What behaviours should I avoid when coping with grief?
When coping with grief, it is natural to struggle with emotions, but certain behaviours can make the process harder and delay healing.
- Ignoring or bottling up feelings may seem like a way to stay strong, but grief needs expression. Suppressing sadness, anger, or loneliness can lead to greater emotional challenges down the line. Allow yourself to feel what you’re going through, whether that is through talking to someone, or reflecting quietly.
- It is common to want solitude, but long-term isolation can worsen grief. Avoid withdrawing from friends and family; instead, lean on trusted people who can provide a comforting presence.
- Relying on alcohol, drugs, or excessive food intake to numb emotional pain might offer temporary relief but can lead to dependency and health issues. Find healthier ways to cope, like exercise, meditation, or creative outlets.
- During grief, your judgment can be clouded by intense emotions, so avoid making big decisions beyond those required by the divorce, like changing jobs or making large purchases. Give yourself time to recover emotionally before making life-altering changes.
- Blaming yourself or over-analysing what you “could have done differently” only adds to emotional pain. Recognise that grief is a process that doesn’t benefit from self-criticism.
Avoiding these behaviours can help you process grief in a healthier way, ultimately leading to a more peaceful healing process.
Find The Best Divorce & Family Lawyers Near You
We independently review and list the top divorce lawyers and family solicitors in the towns and cities near you. 100% free.
The information on this website is to be considered a guide and is therefore not legal advice. You use this information with the understanding that Wiselaw does not accept liability for any direct or indirect losses as a result of anyone relying on or acting upon the information on this website. Whilst we endeavour to provide accurate information, Wiselaw does not accept liability for any errors or omissions on this website.
