Although many couples consider marriage counselling when they are going through a rough patch in their marriage, the same cannot be said of divorce counselling. But what is divorce counselling and what does a counsellor do? We look at this rising form of therapy and how it can help you.
Although many couples consider marriage counselling when they are going through a rough patch in their marriage, the same cannot be said of divorce counselling. But what is divorce counselling and what does a counsellor do? We look at this rising form of therapy and how it can help you.
If you have need help with your divorce and you feel you need legal advice, contact specialist family solicitor Mark Heptinstall of Slater Heelis Solicitors. He is recognised as a ‘Leading Individual’ in The Legal 500 and ranked in Chambers UK, and is described as having “the amazing ability to bring calm into troubled waters”.
What is divorce counselling?
Divorce counselling differs to that of marriage counselling in that its remit isn’t to get a marriage back on track, but rather to offer coping strategies to help couples and individuals move onto the next chapter of their lives. This type of therapy is relatively new to the UK and aims to encourage couples to act in a more respectful and constructive way.
What is the purpose of divorce counselling?
During divorce, it is likely that you will have to navigate some difficult emotions and make some hard decisions about the children, property distribution, and finances. These can be overwhelming, and you may not feel comfortable sharing all those details with family or friends. This is where a divorce counsellor can be useful. Seeking divorce counselling is a good place to get unbiased third-party support and can help divorcing couples and individuals deal with stressful and life-changing circumstances.
What does a divorce counsellor do?
A divorce counsellor is someone who assists couples and individuals during their divorce. This can include pre and post-divorce work, and can sometimes involve longer term counselling if needed. They help couples and individuals via discussion, teaching coping skills, improving self-care, delivering guidance in the development of a new life plan, and much more depending on each individual’s requirements and needs.
A divorce counsellor will help you along your separation and divorce journey, bridging the gaps between the law and your personal experience of the process. People visit counsellors for varying reasons, ranging from understanding the options during separation, completing documentation if they are managing their own divorce, handling finances, contact arrangements for the children, to how to deal with situations where an ex breaches a court order. They can also help manage communication between a difficult ex and help draft emails, letters, and other responses.
What are the benefits of divorce counselling?
Because of its relative newness, many divorcing couples are not aware of the benefits or know whether it would work for their situation. Some of them include:
- Support to help better manage negative feelings and resolve conflicts
- Practical support and guidance on how to explain divorce to children and assist on how to introduce new partners
- Strategies and guidance on working together on co-parenting and blended families
- Guidance from a counsellor as you go through the divorce process, and help with the different stages, such as finances and child matters
- Accompany you to solicitors meetings, mediation, and other formal meetings
- Time to address unresolved issues before going your separate ways, providing closure to both parties and building a positive foundation to begin the next chapter
- The opportunity to better understand what went wrong in the marriage and how to learn from it to make future relationships more successful
- An outside perspective from the counsellor to ensure both sides of the issues are heard and that no one feels as though their opinions and feelings are less important than the other
- Help to understand that there is life post-divorce, and tips for moving into your new life as a single person
Are financial agreements made with the help of a counsellor legally binding?
If you have had counselling as a couple to help you reach an agreement about your finances, it is not legally binding. You can ask the counsellor to set out the heads of agreement which can then be encompassed in a formal legal document called a Consent Order. This must then sent to the court for approval, and once approved, becomes legally binding.
However, if during meetings with the counsellor, full and frank disclosure of both parties financial circumstances did not occur, then the court is likely to question this and ask for more details of the agreement, and how it was reached. If it has any doubts that the agreement is unfair, or full and frank disclosure did not take place, it will not make the order.
If you take the ill-advised decision not to make the agreement legally binding, then it is always open for either party in the future to make a claim against the other, sometimes many years into the future. Only a Clean Break Consent Order can remove all such future claims.
How do I find a divorce counsellor?
Every counsellor is different, so you should shop around, read online reviews and, if you know anyone who has used such services, get a recommendation. Here are some tips for finding the right one for you:
- Research and ask for referrals. Start by researching divorce counsellors in your area and asking for referrals from friends, family, or your solicitor. You may also consider searching online for certified divorce counsellors in your area.
- Check credentials. When looking for a divorce counsellor, make sure they have the necessary qualifications and certificates to prove them. Look out for counsellors who have completed a divorce counsellor certification course and have experience working with clients going through a divorce.
- Book a consultation. Many divorce counsellors offer a free consultation to discuss your needs and determine if they are the right fit for you. Take advantage of this chance to ask questions and get a feel for their counselling style.
- It is essential to find a counsellor who you feel comfortable with and can trust. You will be sharing personal information and working closely together, so it is essential to have a good rapport.
How much does a divorce counsellor cost?
Divorce counselling rates vary depending on the counsellor, the length of the session, and the area you live in. Other factors that could influence the rates a divorce counsellor may charge include the focus of a counselling session, time, experience of the counsellor and the location (in-person or online). It is best to contact potential counsellors to find out their rates before making a final decision.
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The information on this website is to be considered a guide and is therefore not legal advice. You use this information with the understanding that Wiselaw does not accept liability for any direct or indirect losses as a result of anyone relying on or acting upon the information on this website. Whilst we endeavour to provide accurate information, Wiselaw does not accept liability for any errors or omissions on this website.
