In the face of increasing numbers of divorces and breakdowns of relationships, sibling separation is happening more often. For example, in blended families, the biological parent of one child may move out of the family home taking the child with them, whilst the step parent remains with the child’s half-sibling. But is this something the court regularly orders? And what does the court consider when making such a decision? Read on to find out.
In the face of increasing numbers of divorces and breakdowns of relationships, sibling separation is happening more often. For example, in blended families, the biological parent of one child may move out of the family home taking the child with them, whilst the step parent remains with the child’s half-sibling. But is this something the court regularly orders? And what does the court consider when making such a decision? Read on to find out.
If you have a family law issue and you require legal advice to understand your options, contact specialist family law solicitor Liza Gatrell. Vicki is a trusted and highly capable family lawyer and divorce solicitor and a Partner at the specialist family law firm, Stowe Family Law.
Who is a sibling?
Courts typically view sibling relationships through the prism of biogenetic, social and emotional meanings, with strong recognition given to both full and half siblings. However, relationships between step siblings, and particularly foster siblings, are rarely given the same weight by the court. Such limitations give rise to concerns that children’s views of who matters most to them are not always fully taken into account.
Will courts separate siblings?
There is a strong recognition by the court of the importance of sibling relationships. It considers them the “most enduring” and “long lasting” relationships in most people’s lives. In a 2021 case, the family court made an unusual order that the siblings should be separated, with the elder child living with the father in London, and the younger child living with the mother in the countryside. This was primarily because it was found to be in the elder child’s best interests to avoid changing school given their difficulty coping with change because of their autism. That said, the judge stressed throughout the proceedings that he had been concerned about separating the siblings and made the point that “it is not attractive to split siblings as a rule”. He made an order providing for the children to spend time together for 14 weeks per year, being all school holidays plus all weekends where they would alternate between parents.
The big take from this case is that each child’s welfare will be considered separately. What is best for one child may not necessarily be the same for their sibling and their individual needs. While the family court will always try to avoid separating siblings, in certain circumstances, such orders can be made so long it is genuinely in the children’s best interests.
What sort of case would a parent arguing for sibling separation need to make?
A parent arguing for sibling separation must present a compelling case focused on the children’s best interests, the paramount consideration in family court decisions. The parent must demonstrate that separating the siblings is necessary for their well-being and development.
Key arguments might include:
- Differing Needs: As in the case detailed above, the parent could show that each child has distinct emotional, educational, or physical needs that cannot be met if they remain together. For instance, one child may require specialised care or a different educational environment.
- Sibling Conflict: Evidence of significant, persistent conflict or hostility between siblings that adversely affects their mental health and overall well-being could sway the court. This could involve documented incidents of bullying, aggression, or severe rivalry.
- Attachment and Bonding Issues: If there is evidence that the siblings do not have a strong emotional bond or that one sibling’s presence negatively impacts the other’s sense of security or emotional health, the court may consider separation.
- Expert Testimony: Psychological assessments and expert opinions from child psychologists or social workers can substantiate claims that separation would benefit the children. These professionals can provide insights into how each child’s needs might be better met in separate environments.
- Child’s Wishes: Depending on their age and maturity, the children’s own preferences regarding separation can significantly influence the court’s decision.
The parent must provide substantial and persuasive evidence to overcome the general presumption that siblings should remain together.
What happens if the children want to live with separate parents?
If children express a desire to live with separate parents, the court will consider their wishes, alongside other factors contained in the welfare checklist, to determine the best arrangement.
The court examines the children’s ages and maturity levels to assess the weight of their preferences. For older children, typically those over 12, their wishes may be given considerable weight. However, the court will also consider whether the children’s preferences are influenced by external factors, such as pressure from a parent.
The paramount criteria remain what is in the children’s best interests. This includes evaluating each parent’s ability to meet the children’s needs, the emotional bonds between the children and each parent, the impact of the separation on the children’s education and social lives, and any history of abuse or neglect.
If feasible, the court may grant an arrangement where siblings live separately with different parents, provided it does not negatively affect their well-being. The court may also order regular contact between siblings to maintain their relationship.
Sibling contact after divorce
If it has been found to be in the children’s best interests for them to be separated, regular contact can play a crucial role in their emotional well-being and development. So maintaining positive and regular contact between them is essential for promoting a sense of continuity and stability in their lives.
Open and honest communication between parents can ensure that siblings can maintain a meaningful connection. Coordinating contact schedules, sharing information about the children’s lives, and jointly participating in important events, can all contribute to a supportive environment.
Whilst some siblings may thrive post separation, others might experience the opposite effect. The physical separation can be challenging because they no longer share the same living space. Parents should facilitate contact by organising regular visits, sleepovers or joint activities that allow siblings to spend quality time together. This helps to maintain the emotional bonds that are essential for a healthy sibling relationship.
Technology can also play a vital role in sibling contact. Video calls, messaging apps and social media platforms provide additional methods for siblings to stay connected, particularly if physical distance poses a challenge. Virtual contact helps bridge the gap and ensures that siblings can share their experiences, achievements, and challenges despite the changes in their living arrangements.
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