Divorce brings significant changes to a family’s structure, and one of the most critical aspects to resolve is childcare arrangements. This encompasses both the care provided directly by parents and any external childcare, such as hiring a nanny or relying on relatives. Below, we look at how childcare is arranged and paid for post-divorce, the challenges that can arise, and legal recourse in contentious situations.
Divorce brings significant changes to a family’s structure, and one of the most critical aspects to resolve is childcare arrangements. This encompasses both the care provided directly by parents and any external childcare, such as hiring a nanny or relying on relatives. Below, we look at how childcare is arranged and paid for post-divorce, the challenges that can arise, and legal recourse in contentious situations.
Arranging childcare after divorce
In most cases, both parents usually share parental responsibility, which includes making key decisions about the child’s upbringing, education, health, and overall welfare. Shared parental responsibility does not automatically mean equal care and instead parents are encouraged to agree on where the child will live and how time will be shared between them. This can be achieved either informally or through a more formal Parenting Plan.
Childcare arrangements, including the use of a nanny (if you have the funds) or relative, should be part of these broader discussions. If parents cannot reach an agreement, they may turn to mediation or, as a last resort, the family court, which will issue a Child Arrangements Order based on what is in the child’s best interests.
External childcare
For many divorced parents, external childcare—whether a professional nanny, nursery, or childminder—is essential, especially if both parents work.
The parent with whom the child spends most of their time typically oversees day-to-day childcare arrangements, though this is not a fixed rule.
If one parent has a higher income, they may take on a larger share of childcare costs, especially if the other parent’s ability to contribute is limited.
Mutual agreement is crucial, but disputes can arise over affordability, necessity, or the choice of care provider.
Who pays for childcare?
Child maintenance payments are the foundation of financial support after divorce. The non-resident parent (the parent with less overnight contact) is generally required to pay child maintenance to the resident parent. These payments are calculated based on:
- The non-resident parent’s gross weekly income
- The number of children involved
- The level of overnight contact
Child maintenance payments do not explicitly cover childcare costs, such as nanny fees or nursery expenses, which often need to be negotiated separately.
Splitting childcare costs
Parents can agree to split childcare costs in addition to child maintenance. For instance:
- One parent may pay for the nanny, while the other covers nursery fees
- Parents might agree to a 50/50 split, particularly if their incomes are similar
- Alternatively, costs may be proportional to each parent’s income
If disagreements arise over these costs, mediation is recommended. If mediation fails, the family court can decide how expenses should be shared, factoring in both parents’ financial circumstances.
What can be done if one parent objects to paying for childcare?
A common issue often arises when one parent does not want to use a nanny or other paid carer, either for financial or personal reasons. For example, one parent may argue they cannot afford the expense or may prefer to rely on relatives, believing it to be more personal and cost-effective.
If parents cannot agree, the court may intervene, which generally prioritises stability and continuity for the child. If a nanny or childcare provider has already been part of the child’s routine, the court is likely to favour maintaining that arrangement.
Disagreements about a relative as carer
When a relative—such as a grandparent—is involved in childcare, disputes may arise over their availability, approach, or influence. For instance, a parent may feel the relative imposes unwelcome views or practices, that they might struggle to commit to a consistent schedule or prefer an external childcare provider instead.
The court typically supports informal care arrangements that align with the child’s best interests, as long as both parents consent. However, if the relative’s involvement becomes a point of contention, professional childcare may be deemed a better option.
What happens if one parent refuses to share the carer?
In some cases, one parent might try to monopolise a nanny or other carer, refusing to allow the other parent access. This could stem from fears about the child’s well-being or unresolved animosity post-divorce. If the disagreement persists, and the court becomes involved, it may order a shared arrangement or suggest alternative childcare to prevent further conflict.
Mediation is often the first step in resolving childcare disputes. A neutral mediator helps parents find mutually acceptable solutions. If mediation fails, collaborative law, where lawyers negotiate on behalf of their clients, may provide an alternative.

Family court intervention
When mediation and negotiation are unsuccessful, the family court can make a decision. In childcare disputes, the court applies the welfare principle as outlined in the Children Act 1989, which considers (amongst other things):
- The child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs
- The likely effect of changes in the child’s circumstances
- The child’s own wishes, depending on their age and maturity
The court aims to foster cooperation between parents while ensuring the child’s stability.
Childcare vouchers and tax-free childcare
To ease financial strain, parents can explore schemes such as Tax-Free Childcare. This government initiative provides eligible parents with up to £2,000 per year per child (at the time of writing) to cover childcare costs. A better name would be Working Families Childcare Top-up because it is effectively a discounted childcare savings scheme where you save and then pay for childcare with a 25% top-up. Employers may also offer childcare vouchers, though the availability of this scheme has been phased out for new applicants.
Tips for divorced parents
- Always keep the child’s well-being and routine at the centre of decisions
- Clear communication reduces misunderstandings and supports cooperation between parents
- Written agreements, such as a parenting plan/agreement, setting out childcare responsibilities and costs can help avoid future disputes
- Mediators and family lawyers can provide valuable guidance in contentious situations
Arranging and paying for childcare after divorce can be complex, but the child’s welfare should remain paramount. Whether involving professional nannies, nurseries, or relatives, parents must work together if they are to achieve long-term workable solutions. By maintaining open communication and focusing on shared goals, divorced parents can navigate these challenges while providing a stable, nurturing environment for their child going forward.
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