It can be difficult to prove emotional abuse, particularly if it forms part and parcel of other, more overt, abuses. Emotional abuse, sometimes referred to as psychological abuse, can be described as any type of conduct that involves deliberately trying to scare, humiliate, isolate, or ignore a child.
It can be difficult to prove emotional abuse, particularly if it forms part and parcel of other, more overt, abuses. Emotional abuse, sometimes referred to as psychological abuse, can be described as any type of conduct that involves deliberately trying to scare, humiliate, isolate, or ignore a child.
If you have a family law issue and you require legal advice to understand your options, contact specialist family law solicitor Joanne Major. Joanne is the founder of her specialist family law firm and has spent her 25-year legal career specialising in family and matrimonial cases.
Because emotional abuse is often part of other types of abuse, it can be difficult to spot the signs. This article sets out the types of emotional abuse to look out for, and how best to prove it is happening.
What are the different types of emotional abuse?
Since there may not be obvious physical signs of emotional abuse or neglect, it underlines the importance of being able to recognise when it is happening to your child. Emotional abuse may include the following:
- Threatening, shouting at a child, or calling them names
- Humiliating or constantly criticising a child
- Making the child the butt of jokes or using sarcasm to hurt them
- Blaming and scapegoating
- Making a child perform degrading acts
- Not recognising a child’s individuality or trying to control their life
- Pushing a child too hard or failing to recognise their limitations
- Exposing a child to upsetting stations or events
- Failing to promote a child’s social development
- Not allowing the child to have friends
- Persistently ignoring them
- Being absent
- Manipulating a child
- Never saying anything kind, expressing positive feelings or congratulating a child on successes
- Never showing any emotions in interactions with the child. This is also known as emotional neglect
As children mature, their emotions change, and they may be able to hide the fact they are being emotionally abused. Watch out for your child:
- Lacking confidence or self-assurance
- Struggling to control their emotions
- Having difficulty making or maintaining relationships
- Acting in a way that is inappropriate for their age
Signs of emotional abuse in babies and toddlers
Babies and toddlers are probably the most difficult age group to spot emotional abuses because of their inability to understand and verbalise the behaviour they may be experiencing. Babies and pre-school children who are being emotionally abused or neglected might:
- Be overly affectionate towards strangers or people they don’t know well
- Seem wary, unconfident, or anxious
- Not have a close bond or relationship with their parent
- Be cruel or aggressive towards other children or adults
Signs of emotional abuse in older children
Although emotional abuse in older children should arguably be easier to detect, some of the behaviour also mirrors that of a typical teenager navigating their way through puberty. Older children might:
- Use language you wouldn’t expect them to know for their age
- Act in a way or know about things you wouldn’t expect them to know for their age
- Struggle to control their emotions
- Have extreme outbursts
- Seem isolated from their parents
- Lack social skills
- Have few or no friends
How do I prove emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse can have a devastating effect on a child’s wellbeing, and it can be difficult to prove it is happening when there are no physical signs. However, if you have the right tools and relevant evidence, you can prove it and stop the cycle of neglect.
Your first step to proving that your child is being emotionally abused is to document everything. Every time you witness any of the behaviours in our lists above, or conduct, you feel signifies something untoward is happening, write it down, take photographs (if relevant), and make a note in your diary, or calendar. Keep a journal and record every incident in which you are suspicious. If you take your child to the GP for related medical treatment, ensure you obtain their records as part of your evidence gathering process. Regarding medical records, you may need to get a court order before such details are released, so it is important to make a note of the dates you visited them. This can help narrow down dates for any court order.
Other evidence includes:
- Gathering witness testimony – if any family, friends, or neighbours have witnessed emotional abuse or neglect, you should ask them if they are willing to provide you with a witness statement should it be required.
- Aside from seeking medical help from the child’s GP, they may make a referral to a child psychologist who can assess and document the effects of the abuse. This will be available to the court if it orders such records to be adduced as evidence
- Reports from the child’s teacher setting out concerning behaviour and any relevant time frames
It is important to be aware that a child may not be able to tell someone what is happening until they reach crisis point, and the matter then becomes urgent. If you believe your child is in immediate danger, you should contact police and make them aware of the situation. At the very least, this will ensure your concerns are recorded, even if in all likelihood they advise you to contact a solicitor. If the risks are significant, you can make an emergency court application to deal with the issue, in which case evidence will be required to support your contentions.
If your ex, and, it is not uncommon in these types of cases, the child, deny there is an issue, it is even more important to be able to provide the court with evidence. Typically, CAFCASS is likely to become involved, who will take your concerns seriously and look into the matter. They will speak with you, your ex, and, depending on their age, the child, about the allegations that have been raised, and report their findings to the court.
In addition, the judge may decide to order a fact finding hearing to determine whether the allegations are true. Any decision will be based on the civil court test: the balance of probabilities. If the allegations are found to be true, then CAFCASS may make further recommendations in an addendum report, or step back in to produce a full report based on the findings of the hearing.
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