The breakdown of a relationship can be a difficult time for couples, especially if one party refuses to accept it’s over. Even if you have left the relationship safely, an abusive partner can still cause harm from afar. So if you have, or are, experiencing harassment from your ex, then there are things you can do to make it stop. This article focuses on what is classed as harassment and what you can do about it.
The breakdown of a relationship can be a difficult time for couples, especially if one party refuses to accept it’s over. Even if you have left the relationship safely, an abusive partner can still cause harm from afar. So if you have, or are, experiencing harassment from your ex, then there are things you can do to make it stop. This article focuses on what is classed as harassment and what you can do about it.
If you have concerns about a family law matter and you feel you need legal advice, contact specialist family solicitor Mark Heptinstall of Slater Heelis Solicitors. He is recognised as a ‘Leading Individual’ in The Legal 500 and ranked in Chambers UK, and is described as having “the amazing ability to bring calm into troubled waters”.
What amounts to harassment?
Harassment is classed as unwanted behaviour from someone else that makes you feel alarmed, distressed, humiliated, or threatened. In order to count as harassment, these behaviours must have happened on more than one occasion.
Perpetrators can harass their victims in myriad ways including:
- Via text, message, voice mail, letter, or email
- Following someone
- Comments, abuse, or threats, whether direct or indirect
- Standing outside someone’s home or workplace, or driving past it
- An act of violence
- Damage to someone’s property
- Maliciously and falsely reporting someone to the police with no wrongdoing
- Sending unwanted gifts
- Images and graffiti
Is digital abuse considered harassment?
Technology and social media have created additional spaces where abuse can take place. This is often referred to as digital abuse, and is just as unacceptable as any other form of harassment. Even if your ex did not exhibit abusive behaviours during your relationship, there is still the possibility that feelings of anger, hurt, or loss of control could lead them to act out their frustrations online. They may hack into your email accounts or send unwanted emails, post unwanted messages or pictures on social media sites, or create fake profiles to harass you and people you know.
What can I do if my ex is harassing me online?
Initially, if you feel safe enough to do so, you should tell your ex to stop harassing you. It is important to let your ex know that what they are doing is abusive, preferably in a way that lets you keep a record of your request, either by saving the text or email you send, or taking a screenshot of a message you send online. After you have asked your ex to stop the harassment, do not reply to any further communications.
Save all communications received from your ex, even if your first instinct is to delete the unwanted messages immediately. Save emails and chatlogs, take screengrabs of status updates, direct messages, comments, pictures, or websites.
Take steps to increase your online privacy. Check to make sure that the settings on your social media accounts you use are set to maximum privacy. Change your passwords, block or unfriend your ex, and don’t post details of your social plans or whereabouts online. This includes avoiding “checking in” to places on Facebook or using apps that allow you to do so.
If your ex is harassing you via email, create a separate email account with an uncrackable password to use only with people you trust. This way, you can communicate with friends and family via the new email address and won’t have to see your ex’s email every day. Again, save any abusive emails you receive from your ex, but try not to respond to them.
Let friends and family in your support network know that your ex is harassing you. Tell them to avoid tagging you when they check in to places or otherwise mentioning your location online. If your ex tries to contact people you know, ask them not to respond and to keep records of those communications if possible.
If you believe your life is being threatened and/or the harassment continues or escalates, you should consider taking legal action. If you choose to contact the police or pursue civil legal action, having a record of your ex’s abusive or threatening communications will be essential.
How does the law protect someone from harassment?
The Protection from Harassment Act 1997 (PHA) outlines harassment offences, which when reported to the police can lead to prosecution. If the police fail to take action, then you can apply for an injunction through the court under the PHA or the Family Law Act 1996, Part IV.
An injunction can prevent an abuser from doing certain things, such as contacting you directly or indirectly, attending your home or work address, or the children’s school. If you are associated with your abuser, you may decide to apply to the family court for a domestic violence injunction called a non-molestation order. You are considered to be associated with your abuser if you and your abuser are or were:
- Ever married, engaged, or in a civil partnership
- Living together (including as flatmates)
- Relatives, whether by blood, marriage, civil partnership or cohabitation
- In an intimate personal relationship of significant duration
- Have a child together or hold parental responsibility for the same child
If the abuser is charged by the police and the case goes to the criminal courts, a restraining order may be made to protect you. A restraining order can be made, even if the abuser is not found guilty. Similar to an injunction, a restraining order prohibits your abuser from doing certain prescribed things. Breaking a restraining order is a criminal offence, and because of this, a victim cannot apply for one themselves in the same way as a non-molestation order.
What is the sentence for harassment?
If the offence is one of simple harassment, the maximum sentence is 6 months in prison. However, if the harassment has put someone in fear of violence, the maximum sentence is 10 years in custody. If there is an aggravating racial or religious element, the maximum sentence is increased to 14 years.
Within these guidelines, sentences are calculated by assessing culpability and harm. Culpability measures how responsible the offender was for the harassment. An indicator of high culpability would be if the harassment was planned; lesser culpability would be where the harassment was limited in scope and did not last for long. Harm is measured by the distress caused to the victim by the harassment. This could be evidenced by the victim having to make extensive changes to their lifestyle, such as moving house or changing jobs.
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