Social media has shaped the way we interact with others, both with our friends and the wider world. But it has also become a theatre for waging war against former spouses and partners, making it fairly commonplace to be used by aggrieved ex-spouses to malign the other. This article looks at the law concerning this area and offers guidance on utilising social media responsibly while going through a divorce.
Social media has shaped the way we interact with others, both with our friends and the wider world. But it has also become a theatre for waging war against former spouses and partners, making it fairly commonplace to be used by aggrieved ex-spouses to malign the other. This article looks at the law concerning this area and offers guidance on utilising social media responsibly while going through a divorce.
What is the legal position on using social media during divorce?
Unlike other types of legal proceedings, divorce is private and should not be discussed on open public platforms. However, if you only wanted to announce on social media that you were divorcing, this is permissible provided you say nothing more. Although, even this could give rise to a flurry of letters from your ex’s solicitor, who feel that such an announcement is insensitive, particularly if you’re the one applying for divorce.
Fundamentally, anyone going through a divorce would be unwise to use social media to publish anything, even if they believe what they are saying to be true. Divorces can be painful and traumatic, and should be conducted discreetly, not least to avoid risking any children reading about their parents’ marriage online.
Will posting about my divorce on social media detrimentally affect my case?
Discussing court proceedings can seriously damage a case. If private details about an affair or unreasonable behaviour becomes public knowledge, you could find yourself subject to an injunction and face a significant costs order being made against you.
Making public statements is inflammatory and may affect the manner in which financial settlements and arrangements for children are negotiated, and will almost certainly result in increased costs for both parties. Also, the individual disclosing the details is at risk of being sued for defamation or libel, especially if the posts have caused them reputational damage. This will have significant costs implications.
Parties involved in family court proceedings are expected to maintain confidentiality regarding their case. Anyone found in breach of Section 97 of The Children Act 1989 or the Family Procedure Rules 12.73 and 12.75 could receive a prison sentence for contempt of court.
Social media do’s and don’ts during your separation or divorce
- As already discussed, ideally stop using social media or suspend your use/account during the course of the divorce proceedings.
- If you decide to stay on social media, don’t post anything negative about the other parent or their family members. Don’t use social media when you are upset or to vent. Ask yourself what your children would think if they read it.
- Change your passwords. You should ensure your ex does not have any access to your personal social media accounts. If you know your ex’s log-in details, don’t be tempted to use them.
- Change settings to the highest privacy levels. Ask friends not to tag you in their photos or posts. Accounts may have the highest privacy settings, but be aware that nothing online is ever truly private. Cyber-stalking or harassment puts you at risk, so unfriend or block those you are unlikely to be friends with after the divorce.
- Remove your relationship status from your “about me” section on Facebook. If you want to add it back following the divorce, you can do it then.
- Don’t post intimate photos or footage from your marriage. It is illegal to post intimate pictures or footage, and you could face a custodial sentence if found guilty.
- Don’t stalk your ex, however tempting this might be. You could consider blocking them and their close friends entirely.
- Be wary about who you are accepting as a new friend or follower, particularly if things between you and your ex are acrimonious. A new friend could be your ex in disguise, or one of their close family or friends intending to spy on you and gather information to use to their advantage.
Think about all your social media networks and the devices that information is stored on. This could be a home computer, mobile, tablet, laptop and even internet search profiles. Always think twice before pressing post or send and remember the general rule of thumb: if in doubt, don’t post.
When social media and divorce collide
While legal guidance often focuses on what you should avoid, real life examples shows how complex and emotionally charged social media use during divorce can become.
Some people choose to share aspects of their divorce experience publicly, and not always in ways that are helpful. For example, YouTuber Aspyn Ovard, who has millions of followers, disclosed her own separation in a video interview, sharing personal reflections on relationship breakdowns and the emotional realities of divorce. Her discussion sparked wide public attention and conversation about what divorce means in the age of social media.
On the other side of the spectrum, Kayla Reid, ex-wife of Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, launched a podcast to talk about her journey through divorce. By creating a dedicated platform focused on healing and self-discovery, she intentionally reframed the narrative from one of conflict to empowerment, and in the process highlighted how social media and public platforms can be used positively to help others in a similar situation rather than airing grievances.
However, not all public portrayals are so positive or empowering. The tragic case of Sania Khan, a woman who shared her divorce experiences on TikTok, ended in violence after her estranged husband murdered her. Her story highlighted how social media can amplify personal conflict in ways that can put you at risk.
The court of public opinion
In various online divorce forums, people share intensely personal reactions to their ex-partners’ posts. One Reddit user described physical illness after seeing their spouse announce, “It’s finally over” online, even though they hadn’t been in contact. This post reinforces how digital announcements can carry emotional weight far beyond their character limits.
Other discussions show how public reactions can paint a distorted picture of someone’s personal life. One common observation is that negative or ambiguous posts about ex-partners can often spiral into drama, misunderstanding, and resentment, even when the original poster didn’t intend harm. People often debate whether such posts make them look like the bad guy, or misrepresent their side of events in the eyes of mutual friends and family. The general rule of thumb in these circumstances is, if in doubt, don’t post. You should contact your solicitor for advice; however, the cost of obtaining it may outweigh the reasons for posting in the first place.
When social media becomes evidence
In addition to emotional consequences, what you post online has the real potential for legal consequences. Lawyers increasingly advise clients that anything shared on social networks, including photos, comments, likes, or even emojis, can be used as evidence in family court proceedings. This means posts you think are harmless might be interpreted by a solicitor, judge, or mediator as relevant to parenting arrangements, character assessments, or financial negotiations.
Many legal professionals warn that even photos depicting happy social moments, holidays, or nights out can be used against someone by an opposing party to argue that the person is less involved with children or financially irresponsible. A comment about a night out may seem innocent, but in court it could be framed as neglect or distraction from parental duties. Hence the often repeated advice from family law experts, if you would be uncomfortable reading it aloud in court, don’t post it at all.
Community support vs. misguided advice
It is understandable to want support during one of the toughest experiences of life, and many people turn to social media groups for empathy and tips. However, not all guidance in these spaces is helpful or accurate.
For example, large Facebook groups and divorce forums often balloon with well-meaning but unqualified advice. Someone might read a post from another user and assume it applies to their own situation, despite differences in jurisdiction, legal context, or personal circumstances. Solicitors caution that relying on random online advice risks misunderstanding legal rights and responsibilities, and may result in people making decisions that complicate their cases further.
The hidden costs of oversharing
One of the less obvious but very real consequences of discussing divorce online is the long-term footprint it creates. Even if you delete a post later, screenshots and archives mean your words may be saved indefinitely. This is especially important if children are involved, something to seriously consider when you reflect on how they might feel reading about their family issues online years later.
Legal commentators also point out that dramatic or inflammatory posts can increase tensions between parties, making negotiations over finances and arrangements for the children more difficult and expensive.
Managing your online presence mindfully
Given these risks, what should people realistically do when considering posting about their divorce online?
- Set clear boundaries: Consider telling close friends and family privately rather than posting everything in the public arena. Many people in online forums report better outcomes when they keep their divorce off social feeds and only update a small inner circle.
- Think long-term: Ask yourself not just how a post makes you feel today, but how you might feel about it in five or ten years, especially if your children could see it.
- Seek professional guidance: Before making any post about your situation, many legal experts suggest talking to your solicitor. They can help you understand how your online activity might overlap with your case in ways you might not anticipate.
- Focus on healing, not reaction: If sharing is part of your coping process, consider lower-risk ways to do it, such as private journals, therapy groups, or trusted friends away from social media.
When social media helped instead of harmed
Not every story involving social media and divorce is negative, and there are many examples where public posts have inadvertently helped someone navigate the logistics of separation. For instance, a viral plea on Facebook helped a woman in the U.S. locate her missing spouse so she could complete divorce proceedings efficiently, saving her from an extended legal search that could have had significant cost implications.
These stories show social media can have a positive effect when used thoughtfully, especially when the goal is a practical solution rather than an emotional confrontation.
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