Who loses more from divorce: men or women? Perhaps it’s the children. The effects of divorce and gender differences extend into a range of areas including changes to economic circumstances and status, health and wellbeing, domestic arrangements, and social relationships. We look at the facts and examine who loses most in a divorce.
Who loses more from divorce: men or women? Perhaps it’s the children. The effects of divorce and gender differences extend into a range of areas including changes to economic circumstances and status, health and wellbeing, domestic arrangements, and social relationships. We look at the facts and examine who loses most in a divorce.
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Children matters
After separation and divorce, the parties and their children have to adjust to a new normal. Although adults are more likely to find it easier to reconcile themselves to this adjustment, studies show it is children who suffer the most. If you cannot agree a schedule of child contact, attempting to settle a dispute via mediation is going to be far quicker and less expensive than applying to court. But who comes off worse when one party refuses to co-parent?
Two-thirds of women believe men get the short end of the stick when it comes to child contact, with almost 90% of divorcing men feeling the same way. These findings were revealed in a recent survey of 2,000 divorced people. About the same amount of respondents thought their financial settlements were unfair when it came to the children, citing that, in many cases, child maintenance barely covered buying school uniform.
Time away from their children gives men more time to dwell on the significant changes in their lives, while the responsibility of caring for them day-to-day means mothers are able to be distracted and stay occupied. Stress and anxiety can build in men as they worry about missing out on their children’s events and milestones, whilst also coping with the reality of becoming a weekend dad.
Whilst all genders agree that men tend to be worse off when it comes to seeing the children, both sides feel hard done by when it comes to the finances. Of those who think financial settlements are unfair, three-quarters of men think they come off worst, while 70% of women think it’s they who deserve more.
Financial Issues
Although many men can be financially affected by divorce because they have to pay spousal maintenance, move into another home, and have reduced day-to-day interaction with their children, many studies suggest that the economic effects of divorce impacts women more than men.
Following divorce, a woman’s income can drastically decline, especially if she was the primary carer of the children which limited her earning capacity during the marriage. Researchers found that after divorce, women can face hurdles restricting their earning opportunities, and inadequate and expensive child care, all against the backdrop of the cost of living crisis.
However, this isn’t one-sided. Men tend to suffer more depression, increased alcohol consumption, substance misuse, loneliness, and suicide after divorce. All these things will naturally have an adverse effect on their health, income, and net worth.
The disparity between men and women’s finances post-divorce does not appear to have improved in recent years. A 2017 study found that women were left vulnerable by financial decisions made jointly during the marriage. Research also found that the average divorced woman has only a third of the pension pot of the average divorced man. But why does this happen?
The circumstances for women and divorce are complex. There are several factors which can contribute to women being worse off, both in terms of income and retirement savings. These include:
- During divorce, and the impact of joint financial decisions made during the relationship may lead to unfair financial settlements
- Poor pension planning – many times, women will have disrupted their career by doing the lion’s share of looking after the children. This has the effect of lowering their earning capacity, and, consequently, the amount they can put into a pension.
- Careless pension arrangements – when both parties pay into a joint account during their relationship, for example, and this is used to pay into a personal pension in the husband’s name. During divorce, it is easy for pension to be overlooked and the husband taking the benefit of the whole pension, with the wife losing everything she’s paid over the years.
- The impact of child care – women are far more likely than men to have their careers interrupted by having children. This can lower their earning potential and their opportunity to build a financial safety net, including savings and pensions.
Legal considerations
Although legal processes are largely fair, in many cases due to affordability issues, these are not being used, particularly by those with fewest means. A significant number of divorcing couples fail to legally formalise their finances through the legal system, with the vast majority sorting out key arrangements including housing, pensions, and ongoing maintenance outside of court proceedings.
This leads to women being far more likely to lose out on fair divorce settlements when couples try to divorce on the cheap. Arising from cuts to legal aid and hamstrung by a lack of financial and legal knowledge, parties are dealing with divorces themselves. In these types of cases, women appear to be more financially vulnerable and worse off than men in the years following divorce.
Health
Divorce tends to affect men’s health more than women. Whilst women lean more on support networks and may stay busy raising the children, for men, there is the feeling of a void. After divorce, there is no longer a partner to encourage healthy habits or discuss everyday concerns, with day-to-day activities becoming increasingly sedentary. Men are more than twice as likely to suffer from post-divorce depression than women, where, amongst other things, meeting strict financial obligations is a primary source of stress.
It is hard to predict who gets what in a divorce settlement and therefore state with any conviction who comes off worst. Every case will turn on its own facts and depend on how the parties have conducted the marriage. Both men and women are affected by divorce but for very different reasons: women because of their lack of financial planning and restrictions placed on their career from caring for children, and men being more likely to face financial straits as a result. Not only that, but men are also more likely to experience stress, anxiety, and depression when their relationship breaks down.
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