The standard time for divorce is around 7 months from application to final order. However, there are a number of factors that can extend this period, such as trying to reach a financial settlement. So in this article, we’ll discuss how long a spouse can stall a divorce and what you can do about it.
The standard time for divorce is around 7 months from application to final order. However, there are a number of factors that can extend this period, such as trying to reach a financial settlement. So in this article, we’ll discuss how long a spouse can stall a divorce and what you can do about it.
If you are experiencing issues during your divorce and you feel you need legal advice to resolve matters, contact specialist family solicitor Maria Coster of Stowe Family Law. Maria has an excellent record in family law matters as well as being involved in a number of complex cases involving issues such as domestic violence, substance misuse, and parental alienation.
How do I avoid my ex dragging out the divorce?
If you believe your spouse will drag out the divorce, it is important that you are the one who begins the divorce application. This gives you more control of the process. If your spouse objects to a divorce, it is now much harder for them to do so unless they say the court does not have jurisdiction because you do not live in England or Wales.
However, there are a number of practical things you could do that might persuade your ex to cooperate with the divorce:
- Speak with your ex and give them advanced warning that you are applying for a divorce
- If you separated a while ago, make sure you have their correct and/or current address
- If your ex fails to respond to the divorce application, contact them to find out why. It may just be an oversight
- To reduce any incidences of conflict, try to avoid face-to-face meetings as much as possible and focus on moving forward rather than looking back.
- Ask your ex if they would attend mediation. This not only keeps you in control of any agreements reached, but it also helps couples resolve their issues amicably and in a non-confrontational manner.
If all else fails, keep a log of the all the delaying tactics employed by your ex in case it becomes relevant at a later date. This will also help your solicitor run your case as smoothly as possible and maybe even anticipate the other party’s actions along the way.
What is the psychological impact of divorce delays?
Prolonged divorce proceedings can have a significant psychological toll on both parties. The emotional strain of uncertainty and unresolved issues can lead to stress, anxiety, and frustration, as individuals are often left in a state of limbo, unsure of their future. This constant emotional burden can affect daily life, relationships, and overall well-being.
For one party, feeling trapped in an unresolved situation may lead to depression or feelings of helplessness, particularly if they are eager to move forward with their lives. The delay can hinder their ability to heal emotionally and establish new routines. On the other hand, the spouse causing the delay may also experience guilt or resentment, especially if the process is prolonged out of avoidance or financial disputes.
Moreover, children of the divorcing couple can also be adversely affected, as they often feel caught in the middle of a prolonged dispute. The emotional stress of a delayed divorce can spill over into parenting dynamics, affecting their sense of stability and security. Ultimately, prolonged divorce proceedings can extend the grief and emotional turmoil, making it more challenging for both parties to find closure and move on with their lives.
What if my ex is delaying the financial negotiations?
There are times when a spouse will say they want to amicably resolve the finances but then delay. Although some delays in attending meetings or mediation may be understandable, you should think about whether the delay has become unreasonable and if they are using negotiations as a tactic to draw things out.
If there is a significant delay, you may decide the only way out of the deadlock is to apply to court for a financial settlement. That way, the case works to the court’s timetable. You can still negotiate in the meantime, but court proceedings should help prevent your ex from continuing to delay matters for their own ends.
What are the strategies for communicating with an uncooperative spouse?
When dealing with an uncooperative spouse during divorce proceedings, it is essential to approach difficult conversations with patience. Strategies include:
- Remaining calm and respectful, regardless of the emotional stress involved
- Emphasising the importance of a timely resolution for both parties can help frame the conversation in a constructive way. Acknowledge your ex’s feelings, but keep the focus on the practical and legal aspects of the divorce.
- Set clear boundaries and let your spouse know delays are not in anyone’s best interest. Inform them that legal steps may be taken if the process continues to be obstructed.
- If communication becomes increasingly difficult, consider using a third party, such as a mediator or solicitor, to facilitate discussions.
- Avoid any form of emotional manipulation, which could escalate tension and make cooperation harder. Instead, try to offer solutions and compromises where possible, particularly in areas like child arrangements or financial division, to encourage a more cooperative attitude.
Make sure you document all conversations and interactions. That way, if delays continue, the records will be useful should you need to take legal action. Ultimately, clear communication, combined with professional support, can help move the divorce process forward efficiently.
What are the examples of a spouse dragging out a divorce?
There is a 26 week wait time between the divorce application and the final order, and if finances or children matters have to be resolved, it can take a lot longer. Most solicitors advise waiting to apply for the final divorce order until the finances have been concluded. But in addition to such legal technicalities, your spouse can actively drag out the divorce process in several ways. Here we set out the most common:
- Not getting involved in court work, returning documents late, ignoring meetings, or not responding to your/their solicitor
- Ignores calls and messages regarding court hearings
- Not providing full and frank financial disclosure, or not disclosing anything at all
- Expecting impossibly high returns in court
- Refusing to discuss child arrangements, or constantly changing what is agreed
- Refusing to engage with the process at all
It is difficult to understand the reasons for a spouse wanting to delay the divorce, particularly when this has the potential to increase costs. Perhaps they have hidden personal reasons and don’t want to get divorced or hope to achieve a better settlement. Either way, delaying matters is only likely to achieve an increase in costs and stress. Theirs and yours.
Common reasons for delaying a divorce include:
- They are controlling the process to control you
- They refuse to accept the marriage is over
- They know you want a fast divorce and are delaying proceedings to be vindictive, especially if you are planning to remarry
- They do not want to leave the family home
- They cannot bear to leave the children and not see them every day
- If they think you are due to receive an inheritance, large bonus, or big pay rise, and hope to benefit from it as part of the financial proceedings
Can mediation play a role in speeding up divorce?
Mediation can be a highly effective tool for speeding up divorce proceedings, especially when there are disputes over financial matters or children. One of the key benefits of mediation is that it provides a neutral, confidential space where both parties can discuss their issues with the help of a trained mediator. This structured environment encourages open communication and can reduce the adversarial nature of divorce.
Mediation can expedite resolution by focusing on mutual agreement rather than a lengthy court battle. It allows both parties to negotiate and compromise, which can be especially beneficial for settling financial issues and custody arrangements, where emotions often run high. By facilitating faster decision-making, mediation avoids the delays that typically occur when both spouses are unwilling to cooperate.
Additionally, mediation can be significantly less expensive and less time-consuming than litigation, reducing the emotional and financial strain of prolonged proceedings. If mediation doesn’t resolve all issues, it can still help clarify areas of disagreement, making it easier for a judge to make decisions on outstanding matters.
Other Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) methods can offer efficient and less contentious ways to settle disagreements. One such method is arbitration, where an independent third party, known as the arbitrator, makes binding decisions on contested issues like finances or child matters. This can be faster than going to court, as it allows for more flexibility in scheduling and avoids the long delays often associated with the judicial process.
Arbitration can be particularly beneficial for couples who have complex financial arrangements or disagreements over asset division. Unlike mediation, where the goal is to reach a mutual agreement, arbitration involves a final decision made by the arbitrator after hearing both sides. This ensures that disputes are resolved more quickly, particularly in cases where one party is reluctant to cooperate.
Other ADR methods, such as collaborative law, can also expedite the divorce process by encouraging both spouses and their lawyers to work together toward a settlement without going to court. By choosing ADR, couples can resolve their divorce efficiently while maintaining greater control over the outcome, avoiding the delays and uncertainties of traditional litigation.
How do I document delays effectively?
To effectively document delays in divorce proceedings, it is important to maintain a detailed record of all actions and communications related to the case. Keep a log of important dates, such as when key documents were filed, when court hearings were scheduled, or when your spouse was expected to take action but did not. For each event, note the specific reason for delay, whether it’s an unresponsive spouse or a missed deadline.
Emails, texts, and phone calls should be documented, particularly if they relate to delays or refusal to cooperate. Record dates, times, and summaries of conversations. If there are instances of your spouse failing to meet obligations, be sure to highlight these as well as any attempts you’ve made to resolve issues amicably.
It is also helpful to keep copies of all correspondence with your lawyer or any third parties involved in the process, including mediators. Having a thorough and organised record of these delays will provide solid evidence if you need to present your case in court. Keeping this documentation consistent and clear helps build a strong case and can prevent delays from dragging on further.
What are the consequences of dragging out a divorce?
Delaying a divorce can affect your health and mental wellbeing; it can be draining, and at times, is an emotional rollercoaster. This not only adversely affects the former couple, but also any children caught in the middle of the dispute.
Delays to your assets being divided can mean that the first steps towards getting your life back on track are derailed. For example, imagine you have found the perfect property to begin again but are relying on the funds from the sale of the former family home to achieve this. Any delay could mean the home is not sold fast enough, so you miss out on the new place.
The longer a divorce takes, the more it tends to cost. Whilst agreeing fixed fees can help reduce the overall costs, it doesn’t guarantee how much you will pay for the divorce itself. Other elements, such as financial negotiations, agreements, and child arrangements, are likely to be charged based on the amount of time spent taking instructions, preparing documents, and representing you in court. Essentially, the more you can do to avoid court and agree matters, the less you will be required to pay.
If you are concerned that your spouse is using delaying tactics, you should speak to a family law solicitor about the reasons for the delay and what you can do about it. Whilst there is little that you can practically do to resolve some of the causes, it is in everyone’s interest to resolve matters as quickly as possible.
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