With the increasing prevalence of ever younger children having their own mobile phones, it can feel quite shocking when our own children demand one. Indeed, this burgeoning market has tapped into the technology-thirsty younger generation, and has designed mobile phones for four year olds! But does your child need a mobile phone and, if you are totally against it, can you stop your ex from giving your child one? This article examines the issues.
With the increasing prevalence of ever younger children having their own mobile phones, it can feel quite shocking when our own children demand one. Indeed, this burgeoning market has tapped into the technology-thirsty younger generation, and has designed mobile phones for four year olds! But does your child need a mobile phone and, if you are totally against it, can you stop your ex from giving your child one? This article examines the issues.
If you have a family law issue and you require legal advice to understand your options, contact specialist family law solicitor Joanne Major. Joanne is the founder of her specialist family law firm and has spent her 25-year legal career specialising in family and matrimonial cases.
Does your child need a mobile phone?
If you are reading this article, it’s probably fair to assume that you don’t want your child to have a mobile phone. But if you are to confront your ex about your concerns, you need to be armed with evidence to bolster your arguments against it. Part of this is to ask yourself the following questions:
- Does your child need a mobile phone? For example, you may leave them at a club, such as swimming or football, would a mobile phone be handy to contact you when they are ready to be collected?
- Does your ex want your child to have a mobile phone to help them maintain contact? This can be a double-edge sword, whilst you may wish to encourage contact, such as Facetime or Skype between your child and their other parent, unfettered access to texts etc may not be healthy. On the other hand, being able to contact an older child to arrange pickups from school, or contact dates/times may offer flexibility and convenience for the parent with care.
- Is your child old enough to use a mobile phone? Responsible usage is part of being mature enough to have a mobile phone in the first place. Will your child be able to cope with social media (if they have access to it), or being constantly contactable by the other parent? And if not, how will they deal with this?
Whilst it may be easier to ban giving a mobile phone to a younger child, you are likely to face increasing opposition once they reach their teenage years. Both from the other parent and the child themselves.
What can I do if my ex gives our child a mobile phone?
If you’ve spoken to your ex and have set out your concerns, and they still plan to push ahead with giving your child a mobile phone, you may need outside help to resolve the dispute. Before making a court application, you will be bound by the rules to attend a MIAM. This is a first-step form of alternative dispute resolution, which assesses whether or not the case is suitable for mediation.
It is always better, and more cost effective, to try to resolve your differences without resorting to court proceedings. But if the case is not suitable, or your ex refuses to attend, you may have little option but to do so.
The application you should make is to ask the court for either a Specific Issue Order or a Prohibited Steps Order. A specific issue application narrows the dispute and determines a specific question which has arisen, whilst a prohibited steps order prevents a parent from exercising parental responsibility and making a unilateral decision that is not agreed by the other parent, namely giving your child a mobile phone.
When applying for either of the above orders, the child will be the court’s paramount consideration, not what the respective parents want. In addition, the welfare checklist allows the court to take any other relevant factors, such as the child’s wishes and feelings, or any harm the child is at risk of suffering, into account.
The court will make none of the above orders unless it considers that doing so would be better for the child than making no order at all. This means that the court will not intervene and make an order unless it can be demonstrated that there is a positive need and benefit to the child in doing so.
How can a mobile phone ban be policed when the child is with my ex?
Whilst a court may side with you and order the other parent not to provide the child with a mobile phone, how this is policed in practice is likely to prove difficult. For example, your wishes may be ignored when the child stays overnight with the other parent who furnishes them with a mobile to use whilst there. You may decide to enforce the terms of the order, but this is likely to be costly, and carry very little weight in reality. In this case, a breaching parent is unlikely to suffer severe penalties for giving their child a mobile phone, unless there are safeguarding issues that put the child’s welfare at risk.
Here are some suggestions to help manage overseeing the situation when the child is staying with your ex:
- Parenting Agreement: Include details about mobile phone provision or usage in your parenting plan or agreement. This can set out when a mobile can be given to the child, acceptable use, screen time limits, and specific applications or websites that are off-limits.
- Communication: Open a dialogue with your ex-partner to reach a mutual understanding regarding mobile phone use. Aim to establish consistent rules that apply in both households.
- Parental Controls: If the child is given a mobile phone, utilise built-in parental controls and third-party applications to monitor and restrict usage. Features such as content filters, usage reports, and app restrictions can help manage your child’s activities remotely.
- Legal Proceedings: If there is significant concern about inappropriate use or exposure to harm, consider seeking a court order. A court can impose specific conditions regarding the child’s mobile phone usage.
- Education: Educate your child on responsible mobile phone use, including the importance of privacy, the dangers of certain online activities, and how to use the phone responsibly.
By taking these steps, you can help ensure that your child’s mobile phone use remains safe and appropriate, even when they are with your ex-partner.
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