Jewish law regards marriage as a sacred contract, but it also recognises that some marriages cannot be sustained. The process of ending a marriage within Judaism requires a "Get," a religious divorce document. This process is central for Jewish couples because, without it, Jewish law considers the couple still married, which has implications for future relationships, religious practices, and family life. Here is a step-by-step guide to understanding Jewish divorce and the Get process in the UK.
Jewish law regards marriage as a sacred contract, but it also recognises that some marriages cannot be sustained. The process of ending a marriage within Judaism requires a “Get,” a religious divorce document. This process is central for Jewish couples because, without it, Jewish law considers the couple still married, which has implications for future relationships, religious practices, and family life. Here is a step-by-step guide to understanding Jewish divorce and the Get process in the UK.
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Understanding the need for a Get
In Jewish tradition, a civil divorce obtained through UK courts is not sufficient to dissolve a marriage religiously. For couples observing Jewish law, obtaining a Get is essential. Without it, both partners are unable to remarry within the Jewish community. Additionally, a woman who remarries without a Get risks any children from her new marriage being regarded as “mamzerim” (an illegitimate status) under Jewish law, which carries implications for their future religious lives.
Seeking a civil divorce
Before initiating the process of obtaining a Get, the couple usually begins by seeking a civil divorce through the family court. This involves addressing legal aspects such as child arrangements, property division, and financial arrangements. The civil divorce can run concurrently with the Get process, but it is often handled first to establish the legal groundwork before the religious aspects are addressed.
Contacting the Beth Din (Jewish Court)
Once the couple decides to proceed with the Get, they must contact a Beth Din, the Jewish ecclesiastical court. These religious courts are responsible for overseeing Jewish divorces and ensuring that they adhere to halacha (Jewish law).
Upon contact, the Beth Din usually requires personal details of the couple, a summary of the marriage breakdown, and some indication of both parties’ willingness to participate in the Get process. It is important to note that both the husband and wife must agree to the Get, as coercion can render the Get invalid.
Paying the Beth Din fees
The Beth Din charges a fee for handling the Get process, which is typically paid by the husband, although this can be arranged between the couple. The fees cover administrative costs and the salaries of the Rabbinic authorities who facilitate the Get. The exact amount may vary depending on the Beth Din, but typically ranges between £400 and £800.
Preliminary meeting with the Beth Din
A preliminary meeting with the Beth Din is scheduled, often involving separate sessions with each party to address any questions or concerns regarding the Get process. This meeting may take place in person, or, depending on individual circumstances and the policies of the Beth Din, virtually.
At this stage, both parties must confirm their intent to end the marriage. If either partner is reluctant to participate, it can delay or halt the process. Jewish law mandates that the Get must be given freely, particularly by the husband. Thus, the Beth Din may engage in discussions to ensure that the husband is willing to grant the Get voluntarily, without coercion.
Preparing and writing the Get document
The Beth Din arranges for a skilled scribe (a sofer) to write the Get document, which is drafted in ancient Aramaic and adheres to specific halachic (Jewish legal) requirements. This document is meticulously prepared, as even minor errors can invalidate it. The scribe takes great care to craft the Get in accordance with centuries-old Jewish legal texts and tradition. This process requires that the husband and wife, along with two witnesses, be present at a designated time for the Get to be written and signed.
The Get ceremony
The Get ceremony is the core of the Jewish divorce process. Both parties usually attend the ceremony, which is conducted in a formal setting at the Beth Din under the supervision of three rabbis. The ceremony usually includes the following elements:
- Two kosher witnesses, in line with halachic requirements, observe the proceedings to ensure that the Get is valid.
- The husband, as per halacha, must verbally declare his intent to divorce his wife by willingly giving her the Get.
- The husband physically hands the Get to the wife, symbolising the end of their marriage. This act is crucial in the divorce process; it indicates a transfer of rights and the dissolution of the marriage bond.
- The wife receives the Get, signifying her acceptance of the divorce.
This ritual act of transfer must be performed with utmost respect and care, as even minor deviations from the prescribed practice could invalidate the process. Once the transfer is complete, both parties are considered divorced under Jewish law.
The Beth Din’s confirmation
Upon completion of the Get ceremony, the Beth Din provides the couple with a certificate of Jewish divorce, called a P’tur. This document serves as proof that the couple is religiously divorced and is essential for future remarriages within the Jewish community. This certificate confirms both parties are free to remarry according to Jewish law.
Additional requirements for Kohanim
If the husband is a Kohen (a member of the priestly lineage in Judaism), additional considerations come into play. Jewish law prohibits Kohanim from marrying divorcees, so if the husband is a Kohen, he would not be permitted to remarry his ex-wife if they later reconciled.
Resolving potential issues and obstacles
In some cases, a Get may be withheld, most commonly if one spouse refuses to participate in the process. This is referred to as a “Get refusal.” When a husband refuses to grant the Get, the wife is termed an “agunah,” or “chained woman,” which prevents her from remarrying within the Jewish faith.
In the UK, various organisations, such as the Jewish Women’s Aid and the London Beth Din, work to help resolve cases of Get refusal by offering support, mediation, and in some cases, social pressure to encourage compliance. However, Jewish law places significant emphasis on the husband’s willingness, and thus, the Beth Din’s power to intervene in Get refusal cases is limited by religious legal restrictions.
Moving forward after the Get
With the Get completed and the certificate of Jewish divorce in hand, both parties are now able to move forward independently. They can remarry within the Jewish community or continue their lives as single individuals, free from the religious bonds of their former marriage.
The Get process can be emotionally challenging. Many Jewish organisations and community centres in the UK offer counselling services, support groups, and legal advice to assist individuals going through the process. These resources are an invaluable way of dealing with the emotional, social, and legal challenges of divorce within both the civil and religious contexts.
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