Child maintenance is designed to cover the everyday basics, such as living costs, food, clothes, and housing. Technically, expenses like school trips and activities do not form part of child maintenance calculations, and parents will need to make their own arrangements regarding these additional costs. This article looks at the extra costs associated with raising children, and how to go about sharing them.
Child maintenance is designed to cover the everyday basics, such as living costs, food, clothes, and housing. Technically, expenses like school trips and activities do not form part of child maintenance calculations, and parents will need to make their own arrangements regarding these additional costs. This article looks at the extra costs associated with raising children, and how to go about sharing them.
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What are shared expenses?
When you separate and divorce, you may decide working together and co-parenting with cooperation rather than conflict will benefit your children and shape the future payment and management of child related expenses.
Both parents have a financial duty towards their children to raise and provide for them. But shared expenses are distinct from child maintenance, where one parent pays the other to support the child’s basic living costs. How parents decide to share additional expenses will vary depending on their financial circumstances, and the type of costs involved in the activity, but it should always be fair. This doesn’t necessarily equate to a 50:50 split.
You can set out how you will share expenses in a parenting plan. It is never too late to draw up a parenting agreement, and once written, is always there to provide guidance if an issue becomes disputed. How to deal with shared expenses in a parenting plan is discussed in greater detail below.
What type of expense can be shared?
The following is a non-exhaustive list of commonly shared expenses:
- Educational fees – this could include school fees if the child is in private education, additional textbooks, tutoring services, school supplies, school photographs, musical instrument loan fees and tuition costs, school trips, school uniform and shoes
- Personal Technology – Any technology and electronics such as laptops, phones, headphones, tablets, gaming boxes, etc
- Extracurricular activities – such as sports, camps, clubs, and expenses associated with participating in a team or lessons. This could include sports equipment, camp costs, kit, registration fees, music lessons, club membership fees, travel to competitions
- Childcare – nursery fees not covered by free childcare provisions, nursery tuition, before and after school costs
- Transportation – costs of transporting your child to and from locations. Depending on the distance, this may include fuel costs, parking fees, public transport fares, or airplane tickets
- Entertainment and hobbies – this could include costs related to musical instruments, art supplies, movies, equipment, and recreational activities
- Children’s pet expenses – such as food, toys, vaccinations, vet check-ups
- Expenses for special events and celebrations – this may include prom costs, overseas school trips, family weddings or other celebrations, a car
- Holidays and travel – including airfare, events, etc. A shared costs situation could arise where grandparents are seeking to take the child on holiday, for example. But it should be noted that each parent should pay for their child to go on any holidays they arrange themselves, unless agreed otherwise.
- University expenses – this could include help with living costs, books, etc.
How do you divide expenses with a co-parent?
In order to fairly divide child related expenses, factors such as income and contact arrangements should be considered. From that point, try to come up with a system that takes this into account when dividing expenses. Many parents split expenses on a “pro rata” basis or according to each parent’s income in proportion to their ability to contribute. However, it is important to remember that incomes can vary over time, and other issues may emerge.
Here are our tips for managing child related expenses and co-parenting with your ex:
- Draft a future proof parenting plan
It is common for parents to overlook the significance of future expenses to concentrate on the here and now. But this can lead to disputes when costs rise as the child grows up – a toddler, although seemingly expensive at the time, can seem almost cost-free when compared to the teenage stage. A forward thinking parenting plan is essential if you are to avoid difficulties further down the line. By anticipating and addressing potential flare issues beforehand, you can avoid the stress of having to deal with them in a high-pressure situation.
- Be as detailed as possible in the parenting plan
Many parents create simplistic parenting plans that leave too much scope for interpretation. Whilst you may agree on the terms at the beginning, inevitably you will find yourselves interpreting the same paragraph differently, and this is where disputes can arise.
Your parenting plan should clearly outline the method of payment for reimbursement and establish a solid framework for handling additional expenses, and how these should be shared. Will the parenting plan set out whether both parents are contributing to all activities or only to agreed upon pursuits? You may decide to list everything within a broad category, and then within each section, set out all those activities that may come up.
- Document everything
Having clear records of bills and expenditure can resolve any conflicts surrounding financial responsibilities before resentment sets in. Take advantage of co-parenting apps to maintain records you can both access. Effective communication is crucial, and using a co-parenting app that securely stores all messages can help maintain transparency and clarity.
- Create a system for big-ticket expenses
The larger the sum involved, the more crucial it becomes to devise a specific plan to deal with big-ticket costs. You could establish a dedicated fund where both parties contribute towards such future expenses. In the event that the funds are not used, they can always benefit the children in some other way instead.
- Adopt a child centred approach
It is not uncommon during separation and divorce for parties to become entrenched in financial minutiae and ego-driven conflicts. To address this, parents should shift their perspective from a romantic partnership to one akin to a business relationship with the shared objective of acting in the child’s best interests.
- Develop and manage a detailed tracking system
As we have already suggested, recording and documenting shared expenses is a sensible idea and avoids disputes arising. This process can be simplified by using spreadsheets, budgeting apps, or, as discussed above, co-parenting apps. By maintaining an organised tracking system, both parents can refer to the records with ease, review expenses, and ensure fair sharing of financial costs surrounding their children.
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