The concept of parental alienation is becoming an increasing feature of child arrangement applications. In the UK, there is no legal definition of parental alienation, and as a result, is an uncertain area of law. If parental alienation is suspected by a court, it has a broad duty under the Children Act 1989 to make the child’s welfare its paramount consideration in any decision relating to their upbringing. The court also has a duty to make every effort to ensure, as far as it can, that children have a worthwhile relationship with both parents after separation.
The concept of parental alienation is becoming an increasing feature of child arrangement applications. In the UK, there is no legal definition of parental alienation, and as a result, is an uncertain area of law. If parental alienation is suspected by a court, it has a broad duty under the Children Act 1989 to make the child’s welfare its paramount consideration in any decision relating to their upbringing. The court also has a duty to make every effort to ensure, as far as it can, that children have a worthwhile relationship with both parents after separation.
If you have a family law issue and you feel you need legal advice, contact specialist family solicitor Mark Heptinstall of Slater Heelis Solicitors. He is recognised as a ‘Leading Individual’ in The Legal 500 and ranked in Chambers UK, and is described as having “the amazing ability to bring calm into troubled waters”.
What is parental alienation?
The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) describe parental alienation as: “when a child’s resistance or hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of a psychological manipulation of the other parent.”
In essence, it is when one parent undermines the child’s relationship with their other parent with the result that the child stops wanting to see that parent. However, allegations on their own and without evidence are unlikely to persuade a court that parental alienation has occurred or that it should be addressed.
What does parental alienation look like?
The most common signs of parental alienation include:
- One parent engaging in negative comments about the other parent
- Discussing the details of court proceedings or child arrangement issues directly with the child
- Accusing the other parent of not loving the child
- Criticising the other parent in meetings with organisations such as CAFCASS or other agencies that may be involved in the case
- Restricting contact or refusing to divulge contact information
- Removing the child from the area
- Talking negatively about the other parent with others in the presence of the child
- False allegations of violence, neglect, and sexual abuse
- Scowling whenever the other parent’s name is mentioned or when they telephone to speak to the children
- Ignoring the children when they speak about the other parent
A common mistake parents make when entering the family court system is telling the court their child is suffering from parental alienation when, most times, it is far too early to make such a disclosure. This can be unhelpful to the parent’s case if they make accusations of parental alienation when the court may just see it as a normal early reaction to their parent’s separation.
How do I prove parental alienation?
Proving parental alienation is difficult given that, unlike physical abuse, parental alienation leaves no mark. The first step to proving parental alienation are the witnesses. Both the alienated parent as well as the alienating parent are witnesses, as are the children. Other witnesses who may be able to prove alienation may be relatives, friends, therapists, and GPs who have become aware of the situation.
The second step is documentation. This may be in the form of messages or written communication between the parents and/or social media posts. In addition, GP or other medical reports could be useful. What could also be relevant are any journals or diaries written by the child. Such evidence could help to prove parental alienation and be used to prove its presence.
What does the court say about parental alienation?
The court’s response to parent’s negative behaviours is often slow and ineffective. Parents whose relationship is undermined to a point where their children are saying they do not want to see their parent are usually dependent on whether a particular judge or CAFCASS officer understands the situation. And whether they are willing to spend a considerable amount of time and resources challenging the allegations of parental alienation.
When courts deal with a case of suspected alienation, they will generally ask CAFCASS to become involved and assess the case on its facts. CAFCASS will seek to ensure that children’s voices are heard and at the heart of the family court’s thinking and decision making. Over the years, CAFCASS has developed a framework it uses to assess suspected alienating behaviours.
If found, the court can respond by ordering the children to spend more time with the parent affected, appointing a children’s guardian, enforcing contact, ordering a psychological or psychiatric assessment or family therapy. The court may also decide to suspend the offending parent’s child arrangements order or apply conditions to a lived with order, which, if not met, can change the residence of the children. However, this can take many months and years in some cases to implement, even if the court is willing to take such measures.
Ultimately, the court has the power to order the removal of a child from the alienating parent’s care and into that of the targeted parent to prevent their relationship suffering more. In cases of this type, it is important to note that before deciding to remove a child, the court must be satisfied that the alienating parent’s behaviour is likely to cause significant emotional damage to the child in the long term.
What is the long-term impact of parental alienation?
The long term effects of parental alienation may not become clear until the child grows up. But children may suffer from low self-esteem, self-hatred, abandonment issues, lack of trust, depression, substance abuse issues or other addictions. Affected children tend to internalise the behaviour targeted toward the alienated parent and will start to believe the alienated parent did not want or love them.
Is there any way to prevent parental alienation?
If you suspect parental alienation, you must intervene quickly, as this can avoid further damage to your relationship with your child. If parental alienation continues unchallenged, it can result in a complete breakdown of your relationship, and end with you no longer playing a role in your child’s life. When children are forced to repair a relationship with an alienated parent, it can cause a “backfire” effect, which encourages the child to harbour deep-seated negative feelings. However, there is hope, research shows that many alienated children seek to repair the relationship in later in life. This is often because as the child grows older, they understand life better, and also realise what happened when they were younger.
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