Going through a separation is one of life’s most challenging events, and once the dust settles, planning holidays after divorce can present a whole new set of complexities—especially when children are involved. While much focus is often placed on Christmas, the reality is that families face similar challenges when planning summer holidays, Easter breaks, and bank holidays. These key dates in the calendar can become emotionally charged for both parents and children, making it essential to have thoughtful, legally sound strategies in place.
Going through a separation is one of life’s most challenging events, and once the dust settles, planning holidays after divorce can present a whole new set of complexities—especially when children are involved. While much focus is often placed on Christmas, the reality is that families face similar challenges when planning summer holidays, Easter breaks, and bank holidays. These key dates in the calendar can become emotionally charged for both parents and children, making it essential to have thoughtful, legally sound strategies in place.
The emotional landscape of holidays after divorce
The first holidays after divorce are often the most difficult. Emotions may still be raw, and everyone involved—especially children—may feel unsure about new routines and divided time. Holidays are typically associated with tradition, stability, and shared family joy. A sudden shift in how they’re experienced can bring sadness, confusion, and conflict.
That is why it is vital to plan early and communicate clearly. A proactive approach not only helps reduce stress but also sends a message to your children that both parents are committed to their well-being.
Family law and holiday arrangements
In the UK, there is no automatic legal entitlement for a parent to spend specific holidays with their children post-divorce. However, if a Child Arrangements Order is in place, it often sets out who the child lives with and when they spend time with the other parent. These orders can—and often do—include detailed holiday arrangements to avoid future conflict.
Where there is no formal court order, parents are encouraged to come to a mutual agreement. Mediation services can be a helpful, neutral way to facilitate these discussions. If agreement still cannot be reached, the courts can step in, but this should always be a last resort.
How to split Christmas between divorced parents
One of the most sensitive topics post-separation is how to split Christmas between divorced parents. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but some commonly adopted approaches include:
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Alternating years: One parent has the children for Christmas Day in even-numbered years, and the other in odd-numbered years.
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Splitting the day: One parent has the children in the morning and the other in the afternoon/evening.
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Extended celebrations: One parent celebrates Christmas Eve or Boxing Day with the children.
It is important to remember that flexibility is key. Parents should consider travel time, the children’s routines, and whether the arrangements serve their best interests.
Summer, Easter and bank holidays
Christmas isn’t the only time families need to plan carefully. Holidays after divorce include all major breaks and public holidays. Here are some suggestions for other times of the year:
Summer holidays
Six weeks is a long time for children to be away from one parent. Many families choose to split the summer into two-week blocks. If possible, parents can also agree to alternate which parent takes the child abroad each year. It is important to note that taking a child abroad without the other parent’s written consent (or court permission) may be illegal, so it is important to ensure this is in place before booking the holiday.
Easter break
Easter often includes two weeks of school holidays. As with Christmas, alternating years is a practical method. If parents celebrate Easter differently because of religious or cultural backgrounds, these preferences should be respected when drafting an agreement.
Bank holidays
These are typically long weekends, and while they may seem less significant, they can become a flash point if not included in a parenting plan. One approach is to rotate each bank holiday throughout the year or assign them based on which parent is scheduled to have the child that weekend.
First holidays after divorce: Tips for making it work
The first holidays after divorce set the tone for future years. While it may feel difficult, there are things you can do to ease the transition:
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Create new traditions: Help children build positive associations with this new phase of life.
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Keep things child-focused: Your children’s happiness and sense of security should be at the centre of every decision.
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Communicate clearly and calmly: Stick to agreements and let your child know what to expect well in advance.
Helping your kids feel secure during this time is paramount, which brings us to the next important point.
Helping kids through divorce during the holidays
Helping kids through divorce during the holidays means more than just deciding where they’ll spend the day. You should acknowledge their emotions and answer their questions honestly.
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Listen to their preferences: Children—especially older ones—may have thoughts on where they want to be and when.
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Avoid conflict in front of them: Even a brief argument between parents can tarnish what should be a joyful time.
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Reassure them constantly: Let them know it’s okay to miss the other parent and that they’re not being disloyal by enjoying time with one over the other.
Counselling or family therapy can also be beneficial in helping children process changes, especially around significant dates.
Creating a holiday parenting plan
One of the most practical tools available to separated parents is a holiday parenting plan. This document outlines how all holidays will be divided and can prevent misunderstandings. A good parenting plan will cover:
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Specific dates and times for each holiday
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Pick-up and drop-off locations
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How travel costs will be handled
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How international travel will be managed
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Flexibility for special events (e.g., weddings, religious observances)
It is wise to formalise the plan through mediation or include it in a Child Arrangements Order if conflict is likely.
Co-parenting apps and tools
In today’s digital world, co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard can help keep communication organised and civil. These platforms allow you to:
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Share calendars
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Send secure messages
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Upload and share travel documents
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Track changes in the parenting plan
These tools can be especially helpful when managing multiple holidays throughout the year.
When to seek legal advice
If an agreement cannot be reached, it is important to seek legal advice early. A solicitor specialising in family law can help mediate the situation or apply for a Specific Issue Order or Prohibited Steps Order, depending on the nature of the dispute.
While going to court is not ideal, sometimes it is necessary to protect the child’s best interests and ensure a fair division of time.
Planning holidays after divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but it can also be an opportunity to create meaningful new traditions. By thinking beyond Christmas and considering summer and other holidays, parents can create a balanced, respectful routine that prioritises their children’s happiness and stability.
With open communication, thoughtful planning, and possibly some legal guidance, holidays don’t have to be a battleground; they can still be a time of joy.
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