In England and Wales, it is a criminal offence to subject another to coercive control. But what amounts to such behaviour and how do you know it is happening? Most importantly, what can you do about it? This article sets out how the law can protect you.
What Is Coercive Control And What Can You Do About It?
Coercive control is not just a criminal issue — it is a legal concern that deeply affects decisions made in family courts, especially in matters involving children, separation, or protective measures. When emotional abuse creates an atmosphere of fear, subjugation, and dependence, the consequences can be long-lasting. While physical violence might be absent, the psychological harm of coercive control can be just as severe. We look in-depth at how to prove coercive control, with practical, legal, and emotional strategies for moving forward.
The legal context: Family law vs criminal law
While coercive and controlling behaviour is criminalised under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, it also plays a crucial role in non-criminal family law proceedings. When a person raises allegations of emotional or psychological abuse during divorce, child disputes, or other private proceedings, the court can investigate those claims.
In many situations, the court holds a fact-finding hearing, where both parties present their version of events and the court determines whether coercive behaviour took place. This decision can influence contact with children, division of assets, or whether protective orders are necessary.
Importantly, the standard of proof in family courts is lower than in criminal courts. It is based on “the balance of probabilities” rather than “beyond reasonable doubt.” This makes proving coercive control more accessible in family law, even if no police report or conviction exists.
Building a pe
Coercive and controlling behaviour is both a calculated and deliberate act designed to manipulate, isolate and intimidate another into absolute obedience. It can start with something seemingly innocuous, such as having to account for your whereabouts: I need to know where you are so I can keep you safe. Having someone concerned for your safety can be powerful. But that sense of protectiveness becomes a problem if they are constantly monitoring your time or setting limits on how long it takes to perform a certain task, such as the weekly big shop. Whatever form coercive control takes, the key is to recognise that it is happening to you and do something about it.
Recognising coercive control
Certain behaviours characterise coercive control: pressure tactics where your ability to go to work or study is curtailed or your phone or laptop is destroyed or closely monitored. Stalking, telling you what to wear, checking up on you or not allowing you any privacy such as opening your mail or going through your phone are all ways one person exercises control over another. An abuser may also try to isolate someone by preventing them from seeing family or friends, not letting them use their car or locking them in the house.
Such behaviour can be subtle and cunning. An abuser is a skilled manipulator and will lie their way out of any situation, making you believe you are in the wrong. They may even force you to admit this. Such behaviour is systematic and a classic sign of gaslighting.
What counts as coercive control?
Forms of coercive control include but are not limited to:
- Constantly putting you down and name calling
- Controlling you financially – taking your money or making you account for everything you spend
- Punching walls, breaking your belongings
- Threatening to harm you and/or the children
- Threatening to commit suicide
- Controlling when/where you sleep and what you eat
- Begging and crying for forgiveness
- Telling you it will never happen again
This is by no means an exhaustive list and can never be so because an abuser will often tailor their behaviour to their victim. Consequently, conduct can vary greatly from one relationship to another.
What the law says about coercive control
In December 2015, the Serious Crime Act created an offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in family or intimate relationships. Patterns of such behaviour tend to be well established even before a first incident is reported.
It is common for an abuser to make or threaten to make bogus allegations about their victims to social services, the police, and other authorities. These threats are part of their controlling and coercive behaviour, which you can also report to the police.
The police will only prosecute an abuser for coercive control if the behaviour being complained about happens on at least two separate occasions. There must also be evidence that the victim feared violence will be used against them, or they suffered serious distress or alarm affecting their day-to-day life.
Only someone who is ‘personally connected’ to you can commit the offence of coercive control. The law considers that you are personally connected to your abuser if you are in an ‘intimate relationship’ with them. This could be your spouse, partner, or someone you have a romantic connection to and includes same-sex relationships. You can also be personally connected to someone if they are a member of your family, such as an adult child or anyone else you are related to. It can also include someone your spouse or partner is related to and that you live with, their parents, for example.
Offenders found guilty of coercive and controlling behaviour may receive a community order, but for more serious offences, they could face five years’ imprisonment.
What evidence do you need to prove coercive control?
Statutory guidance sets out a non-exhaustive list of the sort of evidence that might prove whether coercive control took place. Things such as:
- Emails
- Phone records
- Voicemail and text messages
- Photographs of injuries
- Body worn footage (police)
- Medical records
- Bank statements
- Victim’s diary
- Witness testimony (neighbours, GP)
- GPS tracking apps or devices installed on mobile phones or vehicles
The real issue around prosecution surrounds the ‘burden of proof’. This is a legal hurdle that must be overcome to prove to the court that the behaviour being complained about actually happened. There are two standards: one for the civil courts (the balance of probabilities) and a higher one for the criminal courts (beyond reasonable doubt). Domestic abuse has the ability to straddle both courts. If the victim is seeking an injunction in the family court, then it is a civil matter. And if the abuser has been charged by police with an offence, then it is a criminal matter.
Proving coercive control to a criminal court can be a herculean task, with hard-pressed and over-worked police officers often failing to put together sufficient evidence to overcome the burden of proof hurdle. The onus therefore tends to fall to the victim to provide the police with the evidence they require, although for those forced to flee their home, this may be easier said than done.
If you are helping the police gather evidence, consider your safety and that of any children first. Although it is perfectly understandable you would want to help secure a conviction, remember, it is the job of the police to investigate and they should not expect you to do anything that puts you in danger.
Where to go to for help
If you have been the victim of coercive control and there is an emergency, you should call the police on 999. For non-emergency cases, you should dial 101.
National domestic abuse organisations include:
- National Refuge Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk)
- Women’s Aid (https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/)
- Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327 (https://mensadviceline.org.uk)
- National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428 (https://galop.org.uk/get-help/helplines/)
Building a persuasive case
Unlike visible injuries or physical assault, coercive control can be subtle and spread over long periods. As such, gathering proof is about documenting patterns — not necessarily individual events.
Here are key types of evidence you should prepare:
1. Personal diary or incident log
Maintaining a written log of incidents can be one of the most powerful tools. This should include:
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Date and time
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Description of what happened
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Emotional impact or physical symptoms (e.g., panic attacks, insomnia)
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Any effects on children or daily functioning
Consistency and detail help illustrate a pattern of control over time — which is critical when determining how to prove coercive control in court.
2. Electronic communications
Messages that show constant checking, threatening language, silent treatment, or manipulation should be saved. This includes:
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Texts and WhatsApp chats
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Emails
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Social media messages or posts
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Call logs or voice notes
Screenshots should include date and time stamps. It is advisable to back these up in cloud storage or with your solicitor.
3. Financial control evidence
Economic abuse is a common tactic in coercive relationships. Bank statements, records of restricted access to money, or coerced spending can help when proving coercive control. Signs may include:
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Victim being given an allowance
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Blocked access to personal or joint accounts
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Forced debt or denied use of credit
The more specific and quantifiable the evidence, the more persuasive it becomes.
4. Third-party statements
Witnesses, even if they only observed part of the behaviour, add credibility. These may include:
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Family or friends
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Healthcare professionals
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Teachers (if children are affected)
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Neighbours or support workers
Statements can be signed and submitted as written testimony and tested during hearings.
5. Professional assessments
A domestic abuse advocate, psychologist, GP, or therapist may provide written reports explaining the emotional impact and long-term harm of coercive control. Medical records showing stress-related illnesses also serve as evidence.
Children and coercive control: Risk and welfare
When coercive control is present in a household, its effects on children are often profound. The court is required to prioritise the child’s welfare above all else, and witnessing one parent exerting dominance over another is a recognised form of emotional harm.
Coercive parents often attempt to control or alienate the child against the other parent. In family court, this may lead to:
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Supervised contact orders
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Temporary or permanent cessation of contact
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Instructions for child therapy or family intervention
This makes proving coercive control essential to protecting not only the victim but also their children.
Shaping the approach to coercive control
Legal precedents continue to refine how coercive control is viewed within family law. In Re H-N and Others (Children) [2021] EWCA Civ 44, the Court of Appeal emphasised that family courts must assess patterns of behaviour, not isolated incidents. It marked a turning point in recognising coercive control as a critical factor in child arrangements.
The court urged judges to focus less on criminal-style cross-examinations and more on the overarching abuse dynamics, shifting attention from physical to emotional and psychological harm.
In F v M [2021] EWFC 4, the court described coercive control as “a relentless campaign of subjugation.” The abuser’s manipulation extended into the court proceedings themselves, attempting to control the narrative. Justice Hayden used the phrase “coercive matrix” to describe the subtle yet destructive nature of the behaviour.
This case is often cited in legal arguments concerning how to prove coercive control when there is no “smoking gun” evidence.
In the most recent case of Re M (Children: Coercive Control) [2022] EWFC 26, the judge refused unsupervised contact between the father and children, despite no physical abuse being proven. The judgment acknowledged emotional degradation, control over finances, and alienation from family as reasons for court intervention.
Beyond the courtroom: Protective orders and practical steps
Victims of coercive control can pursue civil protections even if they do not initiate criminal proceedings. These include:
- Non-molestation orders: Preventing the abuser from contacting the victim or coming near their home. Breach is a criminal offence.
- Occupation orders: Determining who can remain in or return to the family home, especially important in cases involving children or joint tenancy.
- Prohibited steps orders: Stopping a parent from making certain decisions or taking actions (like removing children from school or the country).
Preparing emotionally and practically for court
The process of proving coercive control can be emotionally taxing. Here are additional tips for preparing:
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Work with a solicitor who has experience in abuse cases
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Attend court with an advocate or support person
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Seek counselling or trauma-informed support
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Familiarise yourself with court processes in advance
While legal systems are improving in recognising non-physical abuse, victims still carry the burden of proving harm — making preparation critical.
Final thoughts
The legal landscape for survivors of emotional abuse is evolving. With the right tools, it is entirely possible to show the court the truth about your experience — even without visible scars. Documented patterns of behaviour, digital evidence, witness accounts, and medical testimony all contribute to proving coercive control.
Understanding how to prove coercive control empowers victims to assert their rights and protect their children. It also helps legal professionals, judges, and guardians focus on safety, fairness, and long-term wellbeing.
If you or someone you know is in a controlling relationship, seek legal guidance and professional support. You are not alone — and help is available.
The information on this website is to be considered a guide and is therefore not legal advice. You use this information with the understanding that Wiselaw does not accept liability for any direct or indirect losses as a result of anyone relying on or acting upon the information on this website. Whilst we endeavour to provide accurate information, Wiselaw does not accept liability for any errors or omissions on this website.
