It is crucial to hear children’s voices when parents hold opposing views as to what their child may be thinking, feeling, and saying. And it is extremely common for a child of separating parents to feel they have to take sides, or have to say certain things to one parent in order to please the other. This may result in the child giving out conflicting messages. Child inclusive mediation allows children to talk about all these things with a neutral person. This article provides an overview of what it is, why it is used, and the process involved.
It is crucial to hear children’s voices when parents hold opposing views as to what their child may be thinking, feeling, and saying. And it is extremely common for a child of separating parents to feel they have to take sides, or have to say certain things to one parent in order to please the other. This may result in the child giving out conflicting messages. Child inclusive mediation allows children to talk about all these things with a neutral person. This article provides an overview of what it is, why it is used, and the process involved.
If you have concerns about a family law matter and you feel you need legal advice, contact specialist family solicitor Mark Heptinstall of Slater Heelis Solicitors. He is recognised as a ‘Leading Individual’ in The Legal 500 and ranked in Chambers UK, and is described as having “the amazing ability to bring calm into troubled waters”.
What age can a child attend child inclusive mediation?
A report commissioned by the Ministry of Justice on the Voice of the Child recommended that all children of 10 or above should be given the opportunity to meet with a mediator. Although in exceptional circumstances, younger children may be seen. In theory, there is no upper age limit, although a child arrangements order ends at 18 anyway, so unless the child has a disability and remains dependent, mediation is unlikely to be relevant.
In all cases where the child is dependant, the parents must be in agreement before the child can be invited to speak to a mediator. The parents also maintain their right to decline or remove the child at any time.
When is child inclusive mediation appropriate?
There is a working theory that children have a right to be heard when decisions are being made that affect them. If there are no court proceedings, the parents may feel their child’s opinion should be heard, for example, in negotiation between solicitors or during the collaborative process. Where court proceedings have begun, child inclusive mediation can be used where parents, or the court, would like an indication of the child’s wishes and feelings without involving CAFCASS. It is possible to put court proceedings on hold to allow mediation to take place, and for the children to be seen far quicker than usual as is the case with CAFCASS.
A family mediator must have completed a specialist course and learnt the correct procedures and protocols before meeting a child and conducting child inclusive mediation. The mediator has a responsibility to safeguard the child and follow the overriding duty to protect them during the process.
What is the child inclusive mediation process?
The mediator will ask the child’s parents to share and discuss their views of child inclusive mediation, and if both parents agree, a child mediator will be appointed. The parents will then be taken through several screening questions, which may include:
- Asking the parents to consider how they will react to their child’s feedback
- How they intend to use that feedback within child arrangements
- Confirmation they will respect their child’s views
- Confirm they understand the rights the children have
Depending on the answers given, the mediator will then assess whether child inclusive mediation is being used by the parents for the right reasons. The mediator will then write directly to the child formally inviting them into the process and explaining how it works. If any child does not want to attend mediation, they will not be forced to do so, and it is ultimately their decision. The mediator will try their best to make the meeting age-appropriate in order to give the child the best experience, as well as a safe space where they can share their wishes and feelings.
At no point will a child be asked by the mediator to make a choice or a decision about who they want to live with or whether they wish to see the non-resident parent, and if so, for how long.
The children are seen alone by the mediator and the parents are not present. Feedback to the parents on the meeting should happen within 5 working days of it taking place. The mediator will also write to the children to inform them that the feedback has been delivered to their parents.
What will my child be asked during child inclusive mediation?
The child will be asked a series of open questions designed to tease out their wishes and feelings. Examples of such questions include:
- Outline what you know about your parents situation?
- How does the routine of contact work for you?
- Give me an idea of what life is like at the moment?
- What do you enjoy/don’t enjoy at school?
- What would you change at home that you would find helpful?
Retrieving information from the child will enable the parents to consider alternative ideas and help the family dynamic. Parents will be encouraged to view the feedback objectively and as a way to improve child arrangements.
What are the circumstances where child inclusive mediation should not be used?
There are occasions when child inclusive mediation would not be considered appropriate. Some instances might be where:
- The children are under the age of 10
- Several agencies are involved already, and another may just increase confusion
- There are clear signs of child abuse
- Child services are involved, and they believe that child inclusive mediation is inappropriate
- Parental alienation may affect the feedback
- The child is receiving counselling and the counsellor’s opinion is that it would not help the situation
- Both parents cannot agree to child inclusive mediation
- The child has emotional or cognitive understanding that would make the process difficult to understand
Are there any alternatives to child inclusive mediation?
If you believe that child inclusive mediation is not the right choice for you or your children, but recognise other help is needed, there are other options. These include:
- Separated Parents Information Programme (SPiP) – this is run by CAFCASS and is designed to help parents understand how to put their children first
- CAFCASS – if an application is made for a child arrangements order, then the court will usually invite CAFCASS to become involved. A case worker will be assigned to the case who will speak with both parents, and the children, which may include obtaining their wishes and feelings
- Independent help – details of organisations in your area that may be able to help can be found online
Find The Best Divorce & Family Lawyers Near You
We independently review and list the top divorce lawyers and family solicitors in the towns and cities near you. 100% free.
The information on this website is to be considered a guide and is therefore not legal advice. You use this information with the understanding that Wiselaw does not accept liability for any direct or indirect losses as a result of anyone relying on or acting upon the information on this website. Whilst we endeavour to provide accurate information, Wiselaw does not accept liability for any errors or omissions on this website.
