Going to court can be a daunting prospect for most people. It is not a place they are familiar with, and their ex will be there too. Whether or not you have a solicitor, the general view is that bringing a friend or family member to court provides invaluable support. But are they allowed into the courtroom, or must they wait outside? What role could they play and how can they help on the day? And lastly, could they make the experience worse? This article answers all these questions, and more.
Going to court can be a daunting prospect for most people. It is not a place they are familiar with, and their ex will be there too. Whether or not you have a solicitor, the general view is that bringing a friend or family member to court provides invaluable support. But are they allowed into the courtroom, or must they wait outside? What role could they play and how can they help on the day? And lastly, could they make the experience worse? This article answers all these questions, and more.
If you have a family law issue and you are concerned that you may require legal advice to understand your options, contact specialist family law solicitor Joanne Major. Joanne is the founder of her specialist family law firm and has spent her 25-year legal career specialising in family and matrimonial cases.
Provided the person you bring to court keeps you calm and focussed, having them with you is a really good idea. However, if they cannot control themselves and get into arguments with your ex or their legal representative, stare, or make nasty remarks, having them there is probably more stressful. Additionally, if this behaviour increases your own anger and frustration, then it is unlikely to help progress the case and time and costs will be wasted.
Often, you will need to change your position or compromise on the day, so if your friends or family member thinks their role is to agree with everything you say, your position will become entrenched. But circumstances evolve, and at court the sensible decision may be to settle on terms you had previously told everyone you would never accept. Your friends will not do you or your case any favours by making it harder for you to change your mind. Perhaps they will encourage you to stick to your principles, even when you realise that the smartest thing is to change them.
What role can friends or family members play at court?
If you have a solicitor, then your friend/family member will be there to provide you with moral and emotional support. They may also give you their opinion and thoughts, although this is unlikely to be objective because they are probably emotionally invested in your case. They can accompany you during your discussions with your solicitor and around the general precincts of the court building, but they will not be allowed into the court room itself.
If you are representing yourself, you will be known as a “litigant in person” (LIP), in which case you may be allowed to have someone to help you in the court room by taking notes, helping you get documents in order, and giving you advice. Again, friends or family members are likely to be partisan in your favour, so their assistance may be less than helpful in reality. If your supporter is allowed into the courtroom, they cannot:
- Speak for you. Here, you will have to conduct your own advocacy, ask witnesses questions, and cross-examine them yourself.
- Interfere with proceedings, such as highlighting a point of law or interject in things the other side is saying
- Sign documents on your behalf
Most courts will allow a LIP to have a “McKenzie Friend”. This is an individual, sometimes professionally trained (although this is not a pre-requisite), who accompanies you to court to provide support, advice, and take notes. They are also restricted by the above list regarding what they can do and cannot run your case for you or advocate on your behalf in the way a solicitor would. McKenzie Friends are permitted to charge a fee and travel expenses for their services, but if you know someone who has knowledge of the court system, you could ask them to be your McKenzie Friend.
Do’s and don’ts of bringing friends or family members to family court
So that the presence of your friends or family provide you with the highest levels of support, here are our simple rules to follow:
- Try to bring people who will keep you calm rather than those who might get you worked up.
- Don’t bring a large gang; two people who you are close to is sufficient. Never bring more than three.
- As far as you can, ensure that your friends/family member dress appropriately. If they are coming to support you, they should accept they need to do what is necessary to create a good impression. Looking presentable shows the judge (if they are allowed to come into court) they take the matter seriously. Any sloppy or casual looks will probably reflect badly on you and demonstrate that you don’t understand the gravity of the situation.
- Do not allow your friends/family member to engage in any negative, angry, impolite, or disrespectful conduct with your ex, their supporter, or their representative. Keeping civil in terms of conduct and language is crucial. They should refrain from scowling, glaring or making any rude facial or hand gestures at the other party or their friends.
- There may be mutual friends on both sides and occasions when these people will talk to each other. This is perfectly acceptable, provided everyone is careful that it doesn’t end in argument or worse, a public brawl. The last thing you want is for court security to be called and for your emotional state to be such that you are not in full control of yourself before being called into court. If your friends/family member cannot handle themselves appropriately, you should ask them to wait outside the building or stay at home.
- If your supporter is allowed into the courtroom itself, make sure they know they must remain silent and unresponsive unless spoken to directly. For example, they should not show any visible upset or hostile body language when something they don’t like is being said. Judges will watch how your supporters react as it helps them form an opinion of you as a person, particularly if they can glean information about the nature of the people you chose to bring to court.
It pays to be prepared and careful when choosing who to bring to court, as you never know who might pass on a remark to the judge or who is watching your supporter. If they show respect to the process and to one another, it demonstrates they understand the importance of the situation. You are unlikely to help your case if the judge believes your friends are disrespecting the family court. Therefore, if you can keep your friends/family member in line, and they can remember their role is one of support, then having them with you is a good idea.
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